Mourn the Living
by noodleflavor
Summary: There is no good side in a war. It's just two evils fighting each other for the sake of their selfish desires. Oh, How Allen wished that he isn't in the middle. He's torn between choosing from his past and his present. Noah!Allen, Slight Evil!Allen Allen x Road, One-sided Lenalee x Allen (Rewrite of Silver Lining)
1. Chapter 1: To be or not to be

**one**

The moment Allen Walker stepped foot into the metal gates of the headquarters, he knew what his purpose was. It was something that was branded at the very back of his mind since the day he was born.

He's an exorcist.

It was something he never regrets being a part of; he met great people he can count on and people can call as _friends_ , he encountered people who accepted him for the way he is, who trusted him and he trusted t _hem_. He felt happy. He had a family he can rely on, after all never had a true family.

But in a blink of an eye, everything was taken away from him.

All his happiness snatched away from, bringing him back to the hell he knew very well.

It felt horrible. Every single moment he opens his eyes and see the place he once called _home_ , it felt like something is tugging in his insides, destroying him from inside out. He hated that sensation and sometimes he wishes that his eyes will just close forever so that he can rest and be comfortable in his sleep.

But sleep was never an option for him, every time he loses consciousness he can hear things he never wanted to hear, he can see memories that was never his to begin with and who knows the moment he loses his guard… _they_ might take that as an opportunity to kill him. He hated himself for that… for being so distrusting to _them._ Why can't he trust these people the way he trusted them before?

Still, it was obvious that he won't betray his _friends_. He'll do everything to protect his precious and special f _riends_. Even if it means sacrificing his happiness, sacrificing himself, faking smiles that sometimes his cheeks hurt from smiling too long. It may sound foolish to ignore himself for the sake of other people… but that's him. That's Allen Walker. Why would he lie to himself?

But then despite everything he ever did for the sake of his _friends_ , they left him here. Slowly rotting and suffering in this miserable dungeon. The word 'friends' left a bad taste in his mouth. He ignored it though, he knows he's a Noah and of course he deserves to be here.

Thousands of thoughts crossed his mind, from his _friends'_ safety to his own death. It was awfully lonely sitting in a cramped quite room by himself. He doesn't even know if it's day or night or what day it is. How long he's been confined in this place. Yet, he hoped that someone will let him out of here… bring him out of his misery. But a part of him knew, that he deserves every single of this misery.

He carefully touched the small cross at the side of his forehead, cringing at the immense pain that suddenly exploded in his head even at the small, gentle touch. "Khhh…" he sucked in his breath, teeth painfully clashing with each other. Blood dripped at the small cross in his forehead even up to his fingers, which is unnaturally a huge amount of blood for such a small wound. For a second there, time froze; he felt something clawing in his mind… something mundane. Wanting to take over him and change him. The memories of the 14th lingering at the back of his mind. For a while he felt that he wasn't human, hatred bubbling in his core. But he's human… isn't he?

The prison door creaked loudly as Link Howard walked inside his cell with a cup of water and a bowl of food. Link placed it neatly besides Allen, making sure that the young boy wouldn't be startled by his sudden presence. It has become quite a tradition now, bringing Allen food and just sitting silently beside him… well sometimes they talk a bit but Allen never asked about what is happening outside or the other exorcists. He usually just asks about the time, who will be interrogating him next or who's cooking the food and then after that the room will go silent again.

It was very unusual because Link knew that Allen was a pretty talkative person, if not at least he can break the ice when everything got awkward. Allen stared blankly at the food that is placed in front of him then with a soft snort he pushed it away with his hand and just drank the water. He then hurriedly turned away from Link making sure that he hid the bleeding stigma with his hand.

"Walker. The food is not poisoned, eat it." Link said sternly and if it wasn't for his blank face, he was pretty sure he sounded a little bit like he was almost begging Allen to eat the food. Allen shook his head in response, still not facing Link.

"You haven't eaten in three days. You are going to starve."

Link's sentence seems to make an impact to Allen since his response was a soft muffled sound. He didn't understand what it was but he sure wished that Allen will eat the damn food.

"Might as well starve." Allen mumbled "Pretty sure I'm going to die either way." He turned to face Link, his fingers laced on his hair to reveal one stigma bleeding at the side of his head. Link immediately stood up and took a step back "O-one stigma has already appeared?" he gasped and the only thing a got from Allen was blank stare as if he doesn't even care anymore.

Allen knew his fate very well; he can feel the burning sensation stinging at his forehead. He can hear thoughts that don't belong to him, unknown emotions mixing up inside of him. It was unavoidable that sooner or later he'll be turned into a Noah and he wouldn't be an exorcist anymore.

A small part of him wants to be dead by that time.

"It's getting really hard to stop the 14th… I'm not sure how long I'll last." Allen said those words with so much sadness dripping in his voice, his tone shaky and his eyes almost tearing up. He can't even distinguish if his tears were from the pain or from his emotions. Not that it matters anyways. "The future is imminent… I can't stop it, Link."

His tone was bitter as he held back the black bike spreading over his tongue like sweet honey.

Link gave him a look and all the emotions that have been welling up inside of him came out "Are you giving up on us, Walker?" his voice this time was louder almost if he was yelling at Allen. He ran to Allen and grabbed him by his collar "I've been with you for months; Walker and I know that you wouldn't be such a coward to fall for the Noah family. That is not the Allen Walker I know!"

" _ **Maybe I'm not the Allen Walker you know anymore"**_

…What?

…W-what?  
What did he just say? Those words slipped out of his mouth because it just felt _so right_ to say. But why did he say such a thing? He never even thought he could say such words. Link lightened his grip on Allen's collar and he looked slightly taken aback by Allen's words, but he stayed silent.

"L-Link. I'm sorry… I really didn't mean to-" he was cut off when Link forcefully pushed him off the ground "So what?! You're really going to let the 14th possess you!? Do you want to bring everyone's lives in danger?" Link for quite a long time never felt this _mad_ \- disappointed for a very long time. Allen's expression softened, and tears suddenly fell from his eyes "…No… but I'm so tired, Link. I'm so tired. I can't keep this up forever." his fingers went up to wipe the tears from his eyes, ignoring the pain that flashed on his skin every time his hand touches his eyes.

Link let go of Allen with a grunt, he shook his head and left the room without even saying a word. The doors slammed loudly and angrily leaving a loud ringing in Allen's ears. Allen sniffled, and his stomach twisted as he suddenly felt jumpy… he stifled a laugh that suddenly erupted in his throat. There was nothing to laugh about and all he felt was…

Oh. It was cold; he never realized how cold the floor was until Link left the room. His heart suddenly started racing, why is there a sudden happiness filling him? Even though he was just crying a few seconds ago? He took a deep breath in to calm himself a little bit; he wiped the cold sweat that dripped from the side of his head. His head spun almost instantly and his whole body shook with sudden pain "…What?" Blood filled his mouth and he could feel the warm, metallic liquid down the side of his lips. His eyes frantically searched around the room and he tried to reach the metal door that was hindering him from asking for help.

He fell down the floor with a loud thud and he let out a loud groan as his body touched the floor painfully. A small bit of relief washed over him when the metal door opened, and Link stood up panting and covered in sweat "Walker! We need to run, there's a lot of akuma outside." He ran besides Allen to support the boy as he stood up from the ground. Allen nodded his head; he didn't even understand what Link just said. His mind couldn't process understanding words; all that he could think of was the pain that is erupting in every single part of his skin.

"Can you walk properly?" Link asked, looking over to the boy worriedly. Allen shook his head as his grip on Link's coat tightened "How many…?" Allen didn't get to finish his sentence because Allen started to cough violently, blood staining his hands as he covers up his mouth. Link cursed silently as he hurriedly walked with Allen's arm slung around his shoulders for support.

Allen bit his tongue as he tried to suppress making a noise when Link accidentally tightened his grip on Allen's sides. He didn't want to be such a bother and complain too much. He slowly took a step on the concrete stairs making sure that he and Link won't get unbalanced. Then before he could realize it a shadowed figure appeared in front of them.

Akuma.

Assuming from its murky purple colour and bat like figure it is a level two. His innocence wouldn't activate for some reason and his eyes didn't even react at the akuma in front of them. Link let go of Allen making Allen unable to walk as he tripped down the stairs, he quickly leaned to the wall for support.

Link immediately attacked the akuma with the retractable blades hidden under his sleeves; Allen flinched at the sudden impact on the ground when the level two akuma attacked Link with its huge claw like hands. He heard Link cursing loudly when the sharp blades almost hit his arms "Damn it! There is no time!"

"Link! Where's Allen?!"

Allen's blood ran cold and he swore his heart stopped beating for a moment. Lavi and Lenalee stood behind the akuma and almost instantly the akuma was turned into dust, judging from the scratches and bruises on their body; they just fought some akuma before they came here.

It took them a few seconds to get a good look on Allen and was surprised at their friend's state. Allen looked horrible, blood is smeared all over him… from his hair, to his face, down to his arms and his white clothing is stained with the crimson hue. Bags were under his eyes and it was easy to tell that he didn't get enough sleep. Lavi rushed to aid Allen and get out of this cramped dungeon but instead Link fell down the stairs—no something smacked him off the stairs. Link's head hit the wall and his figure slumped weakly on the ground, blood pooling down his head.

"Allen~ we're really sorry for coming this late."

Road Kamelot greeted with a wide smile across her face, Lenalee stood in front of Link and shielded him with her arms to prevent them from hurting Link more. Her stance serious and prepared for a fight, Road giggled and gestured her hands as if she is just joking "Ah. We don't really have time to play with you, exorcists. We just came here to fetch Allen."

Wait… we?

Allen turned his head and saw Tyki standing behind him and Lavi "Allen!" Lavi screamed when Tyki pierced his hands on Lavi's shoulders. Allen's stomach lurched at the sickening sound that filled his ears Tyki immediately pulled back his arm and kicked Lavi on his stomach, forcing the exorcist to fall on his knees and grunt in pain as Tyki stepped on his wounded shoulder.

It all happened so fast that Allen took a moment to understand what was happening. It was probably Tyki's speed or he's just too messed up to comprehend his surroundings "Lavi." He muttered as he tried to move to his fallen friend's position only to pathetically wobble and lean back on the wall.

"L-Lenalee… Fuck…" Lavi sucked a deep breath when the pressure on Tyki's shoes increased "Help Allen. I'll take care of Link." He struggled to stand up but Tyki kicked him back to ground. Road rolled her eyes at how foolish the exorcists are… Did they really think they have a chance at defeating two Noah apostles? They really are out of their minds. She summoned her candles and pointed them right directly at Lenalee's direction "Don't interfere with for a while, kay?" she smiled sweetly at Lenalee, making sure that the exorcist wouldn't try to move. After all, if this woman even tries to come between her and Allen, Lenalee would get a good stabbing.

She giggled silently under her breath and skipped down the stairs to hug her beloved Allen.

Allen felt warmth after a long time. Road's hug on him was light knowing that she might hurt Allen if she hugged him too tight, the scent of sweet candies filled his nose when Road pressed her head on Allen's neck. He didn't even realize that he unconsciously wrapped his arms around Road's body, familiarizing the warm feeling he sorely missed.

"Allen! Get away from her!" Lenalee screamed making Road snort in response. Allen didn't have it in him to push the petite girl away from him. Road whipped her head to Lenalee, her eyes fierce as she glared at the exorcist. Her candles inched closer to Lenalee pointing the sharp ends near Lenalee's neck "Don't piss me off, Lenalee." She snarled angrily then a smug smirk curled up her lips "Maybe the next thing you'll see is the cold floor under you."

"Road! Stop it. We're under strict orders not to meddle with other exorcists." Tyki sighed as he calmly pinned Lavi down the floor, the bookman still struggling to stand but it was obvious that the wound on his shoulder is making an impact on his movements. Even a small move from his torso makes the pain worse.

Allen's headache worsen, his head spun like crazy and everything he hears felt like stuffed cotton in his head. Then he vomited.

Blood came out of his mouth, there is nothing coming out of his stomach anymore… he hasn't eaten for three days after all. He was sure that he heard Lenalee and Lavi screaming his name but he can't reply or even make a single sound, his throat felt like burning despite the amount of liquid that came out of his mouth.

"It's time to leave. We can't stay here any longer; Allen's transformation has already started." Road blew Lenalee a kiss before summoning her door and jumping in. Tyki shook his head as if he is used to what is happening around him as he kicked Lavi hard on the stomach to immobilize him before he carried Allen and jumped in Road's door without looking back.

* * *

"L-Let me go!" Allen sputtered out as Tyki carried him out Road's door to the outside. The moon shone brightly if only there weren't hordes of akuma floating around the sky. Tyki ignored him and still carried Allen's in his arm "We're far from the exorcists now… I'm pretty sure they won't reach us here from all the akuma around." Tyki added as he helped Allen up to his foot and slung an arm around Allen's shoulder.

"We need to talk, boy." The tone on Tyki's voice changed as his eyes glints with pure seriousness that it made Allen flinch a bit. Road looked the same way, the smile on her face gone and her posture straight and not childish.

"They hurt you… don't they?" Road asked him quietly each word she speaks drips with venom, the glint in her eyes dangerous as she pointed at Allen's back filled with fresh crimson lines that oozes with a little bit of blood. Allen didn't want to answer. He didn't want to ruin the Order's name… yet, he still can't believe that the Black Order could do something like this. It reminded him of the third exorcist project which ended up in total failure.

Something so harsh and cruel.

Something fitting for a Noah like him.

He lowered his head in defeat even if he lie the answer is still obvious. The Noahs won't buy his lies anyways.

"Why did you help me?" he asked softly and filled with so many emotions. Why would they help him? He knew that the 14th was a traitor to their family. He knew that he was once their enemy. He's an exorcist… yet they—

"You're our family, Allen." Road answered simply and walked besides Tyki and wrapped her arms around her uncle "We can't just leave our family here with disgusting exorcists." She said these words so clearly that for a moment he felt his heart flutter. For a moment relief washed through his whole body.

"Seriously, Allen…. How long would it take to get that through your thick skull? Even the Earl is having trouble sleeping at night thinking about you." Tyki sighed casually. Allen ignored him and looked behind him, he could see smoke puffing up the sky and he could hear slight gunshots from the Headquarters.

Allen wanted to go back and helped his troubled allies from the akuma. But it was clear that he can't even manage to walk by himself let alone fight.

"I'm… I'm… I can't just leave them. I'm not like you. I'm an exorcist." He shook his head and tried to break free from Tyki's grip but Tyki seems to notice his attempt and tightened his grip around Tyki's shoulder.

"Listen to us, Allen." This time it was Road looking directly at him "Do you really want to stay here? Stay with the people who you once trusted but they betrayed you?" she was nearly yelling. Why can't Allen understand them? Why can't he see the dangers around exorcists? They left him to rot in a miserable dungeon for god's sake "We know we have done so many wrong things in your perspective but… I promise you everything we've done has a greater purpose. Please give us a chance!" Road was crying and for Tyki it was rare occasion. Road rarely cries and he only saw her cry a few times most of them was because of their family and nothing else.

Allen's expression softened and changed into confusion. He doesn't understand anything anymore. He took a deep breath in and raised his arm to wipe the tears off Road's cheeks "Hey… don't cry anymore. Don't cry for someone who doesn't deserve your tears." Allen's voice was hard and he never felt this sad for a long while. Not even when he was thrown into prison.

There's still hope. His friends might come and save him and they might find a way to stop his transformation.

"So... Allen, do you want to come with us or do you want to stay here and rot?" Tyki asked as he hushed Road to stop crying, patting the shorter girl on the back and hugging her tightly.

Allen looked around the woods, making sure that there'll be no one who'll hear what he's going to say. Then he answered quietly that only the two Noah would hear him "I'll come."

Road smiled a little bit and Tyki broke their hug gently with a goofy grin on his lips. Road's door appeared in front of them as they guided him to go inside the door not even once looking back.

* * *

Road wiped the blood off Allen's face gently, not waking up the tired boy who's fast asleep. She stares curiously at Allen's sleeping body, scanning every single detail, every single wound that marked Allen's skin. Her eyes reflected worry when she saw the whip marks at his back but she have to admit… it looked rather appealing.

Allen shifted uncomfortably on the bed, his breath shallow and his body twitched with every movement. Road reached to touch Allen's face—

"Hey, you might wake him up." Tyki muttered behind Road, hands full of bandages as he placed the bandages on the bedside table; handing one to Road. She puffed her cheeks and glared at Tyki "Jeez… don't scare me like that!" she gently brushed Allen's hair off his face and gasped when she saw a stigma marked at the side of his forehead.

"Tyki!" she grabbed her uncle's dark coat, pointing at the stigma on Allen's forehead. The older man's eyes widen as he ran closer to observe the small stigma "The Earl will be happy if he knew about this!" he exclaimed before rushing out to report to the Earl.

Road happily twirled as she hugged Allen not caring if she woke up Allen from her sudden action. The boy groaned in pain as he woke up, head still throbbing painfully he slowly scanned the room before sitting up and moving slightly away from Road. His vision was blurred but he recognized the Noah's figure in front of him "Eh- Road?! What are you doing?" he gasped.

Road shrugged and didn't break free from their hug, Allen noticed that there were less blood on his face and neck, he really appreciated that. The smell and feel of dried blood isn't that pleasing after all.

He coughed a little bit and felt blood trickling down his lips "Allen! You shouldn't force yourself too much." She grabbed the handkerchief that is placed neatly on the bedside table then wiped the side of Allen's lips. Road's gentle action surprised him, he smiled happily at Road "Thank you." He said and it was noticeable at how Road's already ashen skin flushed at his comment.

He didn't mind being with the Noah. He tried to get sit up but it was no use; his body feels too heavy and painful to move. He grunts and went back to his previous position, his left arm doesn't even budge but it stings slightly probably a reaction to the Noah who is sitting beside him. He carefully touched his forehead and as expected pain flared even at the faintest touch.

Road noticed Allen's futile attempt of moving his left arm and frowned "Maybe we should cut it off?" she suggested with a neutral expression on her face. Allen realized that the Noah looked serious and like instinct he covered his left arm protectively "W-What? No way!" he shook his head rapidly while scooting a little bit away from Road.

"I'm just joking! We won't force you do anything like that, it'll be your decision." Road laughed and Allen let out a sigh of relief but didn't reply at Road's sentence. When it was finally silent, Road wrapped her fingers around Allen's hand and squeezed it tightly. It might be that she wants to comfort Allen.

She knew Allen needed a moment of silence because the way he looks longingly at the ceiling shows that he is still reflecting.

For what seems like forever Allen realized that he's been such a fool making a foolish decision. Why would God force this path upon him? Making him choose between two sides of the war and none of them is right. There is no good and evil in war… it's just two evil fighting against each other.

It hurts that he's in the middle of the two sides. An existence that shouldn't be even here in the first place. He's torn between choosing from his past and his present.

He's useless. Foolish. Pathetic.

He promised Mana that he'll be someone who is worthy.

And he already broke it. He betrayed Mana. He's useless. He can't even fulfil his only purpose.

Useless.

And it hurts.

Everything around him hurts.

It hurts. HURTS. HURTS. HURTS. HURTS. HURTSHURTSHURSTHURTS-

 **HURTS.**

 **IT HURTS.**

"Allen! What are you doing? Allen! STOP!" Road yelled panicking, her words snapped Allen back to the reality he hated so much. Her eyes were glimmering with tears and Allen blinked for a few seconds before he realized what he was doing.

He was scratching his head too much that his forehead is filled with deep scratches that stained his fingernails red. A few strands of his snow hair scattered on his face and hands.

He blinks again and inhaled sharply when the pain filled his senses, he turned around to face Road his eyes misty from tears "R-Road… it hurts… it's so painful. I-I want it to stop, Road. It won't stop and I'm so tired of it. I-I can't… I can't take it anymore…" He trailed off.

"… I'm scared…"

He repeated these words like a mantra, Road looked at his beloved family being tormented by his memories. Allen was never like this. Allen used to be strong … it was always the exorcists ruining her family.

They never stop tormenting and destroying their relationship. The Noah family was never happy because of exorcists and innocence.

Those disgusting and selfish humans always in the way of their happiness. She can't wait to destroy them.

Anger boiled inside her and her fingers shook uncontrollably "Allen, let's sleep… you'll be fine." She whispered gently and hugged the boy beside her. Allen shook his head "No… It hurts…I'm scared." He wrapped his arms tightly around Road. She smiles again and kissed his forehead "Goodnight… brother…"

Just like always, Allen felt darkness overcome him.

 **END**

 **Author's Note**

 **Hello! For those who read this fanfiction for the first time this is a rewrite of the old "Silver Lining" I am currently hoping to change the plot a little and make it longer than it was before. This rewrite is something I've worked on for quite a while (including a few chapters in advance) because I got pretty annoyed of my old writing style. For those who read the old version… Welcome back! The first few chapters might be familiar to you guys but I made slight changes so that it wouldn't bore you guys. Thank you for all the support that has been given to this story and I hope to finish this story with the same excitement I felt when writing this story. Updates will either Sunday or Saturday (I decided to make updates once a week so that I wouldn't rush chapters and that I would have much time to write decent chapters)**

 **Thank you again for supporting me.**

 **With love,**

 **Noodle**

 **PS: The author gets more motivation when people review her story (So please review) Reviews and follows really mean a lot and it might even make her update twice a week. So please Review. Please.**

 **Next Chapter:**

 **-Allen's decision in becoming a Noah.**

 **-Road's anger management.**

 **-The Earl is actually a sweet old man.**


	2. Chapter 2: What fools these mortals be

**two**

Allen Walker woke up in cold sweat; he jolted awake in the middle in the middle of the night. He sighed and wiped the drool off the side of his lips. His sleep was dreamless and quiet and he needed that after a long time of only being greeted by nightmares every time he closed his eyes. The moonlight illuminated the dark room despite the eerie atmosphere of the room, it looked rather beautiful. Road was sitting on the chair, her head leaning down on his bed.

He smiles and moved the blanket over her back.

Allen didn't feel sleepy anymore; in fact, all he did these past few weeks was sleep. After a long time he actually got a peaceful sweet he can't even remember when was the last time he felt calm and serene. The missions he had before were very stressful and he never got the chance to sleep. He shakily stood up his legs felt weak and wobbly; he flinched when his barefoot touched the cold marble floor.

He slowly walked to the window, his hands clutching over the bed's frame so that he wouldn't trip and wake the Noah who is sleeping soundly beside him. He hasn't seen the moon and stars for a long time and it felt alien to him. He actually gotten used to the cold, gray ceiling of the dungeon.

He raised his hand to touch another stigma that has marked itself unto his forehead, not that he is surprised but the sharp pain that flared through his head doesn't even bother him anymore. He'll be a Noah soon and there is no turning back. No reverting back. No changing sides.

His friends will still save him…right?

A part of him knew that this is just a sugar coated lie that he kept telling himself. Yet it was his only hope… the last bit of hope that is left in him. He didn't want it to disappear because he knew that the moment he stopped believing in his only hope… He wouldn't be Allen Walker anymore. He'll be the 14th he oh-so hated.

He just wanted to be happy with his friends. Is there something wrong with that? Is he being too selfish? But he tried so hard to make everyone happy… he didn't ask for so much. He only asked for that little bit of happiness that he wanted to cherish even for just a small moment.

He ignored his thoughts knowing that if he dwells on it too much he'll get another headache. He walked slowly to the door making sure that Road wouldn't wake up from her peaceful sleep.

The hallways looked beautiful even though it was dimly lit by only a few lights. Paintings framed with golden patterns hung around the dark walls, vases filled with crimson roses placed neatly on the tiled floors, the windows were engraved with intricate golden patterns… even though he only saw this the first time it oddly felt familiar.

His footsteps echoes around the hallway ruining the silence that was once there. At the end of the hallway was a glass door, covered with a sheer white curtain. He walked towards it, realizing that it is the balcony and he spotted a familiar figure sitting at one of the chairs outside.

He paused and turned his back before the man could see him but sadly.

"Ah! It's nice to see you, Allen."

He mentally cursed and shakily turned around "A-Ah! I didn't see you there." He smiled, lips twitching as he spoke. The Earl let out a laugh "Don't lie to me, silly boy! Come let's drink tea." The man pats the chair besides him. He knew that he has no way out of this so he walked over the Earl and sat beside him, he shifted uncomfortably at the presence of the older Noah.

"How are you feeling?" The Earl took a sip of his tea, his glasses glazed under the moonlight. Allen frowned a little bit when he saw the amount of sweets placed on the table. He didn't want to answer the man's question but the Earl's tone sounded genuine. Allen took the porcelain tea pot and slowly pours tea to his cup. Shakily slightly he answered "…I-I don't feel well." He took a sip of his warm tea. It was sweet. Too sweet that it tasted more like sugar drenched in water. He made a face and immediately regretted it when the Earl stared at him "Oh- I'm sorry!" he apologized at the rude action he just made to the older man.

"Oh. It's my bad; I'm still not used of not having Skinn around. He's the one who always drinks tea with me so I got used to him putting too much sugars in things." He listened to the Earl babble about the Noah of Wrath… it's kind of a nostalgic feeling. The pudgy man let out a soft cough "Ahem… I got a little emotional there. A bad habit, really." He then proceeded to change back conversation.

"How is the transformation?"

Allen frowned and sighed "It hurts. A lot." It was a simple reply and he can't describe the pain he's feeling during his transformation.

The Earl chuckled "You're awfully honest." He poured tea on his tea cup after he finished the one before, his eyes though not leaving the younger boy. Allen took another sip of his tea, feeling the warm liquid smoothly going down his throat. He looks away and stares down at his cup; he didn't mind the sugary taste that filled his tongue.

"Anyways, the other family members were curious. What did the exorcist do to you?" the Earl asked once more.

Allen hated that question so much. It was a question he wanted to avoid… he can't believe that his _home_ can do such cruel things. Is it because he's turning into a Noah? Is it because for something as small like that they'll throw him away?

He didn't betray them. He tried so hard to stop the transformation, to the delay the 14th's memory from his mind even though it hurts like crazy. Even if it feels like his whole body is on fire and his mind is going insane… not even once he thought of betraying his comrades. Not even when he got thrown into the dungeon.

They were the one who betrayed him. Yet he was the one who got branded as a traitor.

Stupid.

Pathetic.

Scum.

Filthy, not loyal, mortal, disgusting, exorcists who trashed him out the moment they wouldn't need him anymore. _He hates them. He absolutely hates those pathetic exorcists. He hates them so much-_

…What?

How could he let these inhumane feelings out? For a second he felt pure, burning hatred. But why? How could he hate the strong Kanda? The brave Lavi? The sweet and caring Lenalee who is always on his side no matter what?

How could he hate his friends? How could he let his Noah control him?

The loud sound of glass breaking filled his ears.

Allen dropped the cup on the floor, shattering it to pieces. He shook his head violently "I am not a Noah!" he yelled, he didn't know why he was so angry his blood boiled and his shook violently that he needed to destroy something to calm his nerves

He's an exorcist and the Noah should hate him… yet they didn't.

He's a Noah and the exorcist did hate him… why?

The Earl looked at him with that same smile that never changes no matter what emotions he radiates "I see…" he chuckles under his breath "You don't want to talk about that yet." The boy seems to have calmed a bit. He almost looked shocked when he realized that he threw the fragile cup to the floor.

"Are you scared of disappearing, Allen?" He asked calmly, the boy didn't reply… he looked like he was in deep thought despite that constant frown that appears in Allen's face "I have to reassure you… your beliefs about us Noah is wrong. We do not disappear, my dear child. You will not be overpowered by the old 14th." He continued in a soft tone.

Allen's face changed into confusion "I'm an exorcist… I'm an enemy… yet you-" he pause, he was crying. His voice felt so weak and dry that he doesn't know what to say anymore.

"My, seems like those pesky exorcists really did horrible things to you. They messed with your head, didn't they?" This time the calm tone in the man's voice disappeared only to be changed with full malice that made Allen shiver "Is it because they told you that you were their family only to be thrown away the moment they found out that you were a Noah?"

 _Please don't say it._

 _I don't want to hear it._

 _I don't need your saving._

 _Don't say it._

 _I don't want to hear the truth._

"You hate them, don't you?"

Allen screamed. He didn't care how loud or how long he was screaming. He just screamed, letting out all of these mixing emotions inside of him. He didn't stop until his lungs felt like they were burning as if they were clogged by something.

He fell to his knees and cried, every single drop of his tears that trails down his cheek felt like hot lava burning its way down his skin. Each drop of saliva that slid down his throat felt like bubbling acid destroying him. His skin itched and stung like hell… his muscles and bones felt like they were being broken inch by inch.

His heart broke. Because it was _true_ yet he can't believe himself.

The Earl immediately walked to Allen's position and cradled the crying the crying teen into his arm, hugging the poor child tightly. Allen wrapped his arm around the Earl; sobbing and mumbling inaudible words.

"…Please… I want to go home… Please…"

Home… It was such an alien word. As if it never existed because it just felt so wrong to say it.

Allen almost sounded like the child The Earl met years ago. It broke the Earl's heart seeing a family member so sad and broken.

"Mana… I can't take this anymore… I want to go home…"

Allen cried once more and tightened his hug on the old man. The Earl looked at Allen with fond eyes as he placed his gloved hand to brush the teen's white hair "You are home, Allen." He whispers "Because we are family."

* * *

Tyki Mikk doesn't like it when his beloved niece is angry.

This early morning he saw her rummaging through the kitchen drawers, at first he didn't mind it thinking that the child would just sneakily take some food. Then the next thing he saw Road was already on the mansion's balcony holding kitchen knives and aiming them at some poor level two akuma.

He sighed as he walked over to the girl whose were completely focused on the akuma in front of her. The poor akuma seems to be trying to dodge all the knives that were thrown at its direction "Road…" he called; the Noah of Dreams whipped her head to face Tyki.

Tyki was not surprised to see a sour expression on her face, her cheeks puffed in anger as she held a knife tightly in her hand. She would've looked cute though if she is not trying to destroy an akuma with kitchen knives "What is it, Tyki?" she asked, Tyki took this moment and ordered the akuma to go away.

"You shouldn't destroy akuma, you know."

Road snorted in reply as she quickly gathers the knives from the marble floor and putting them messily on top of a table "I'm pretty sure no one would mind." She muttered.

"Tell me, did anything happen last night?" he asked the girl as he slowly led her back inside the mansion, closing the glass door behind them. Road's expression twisted into anger and she nodded "Allen…" she stopped and pulled Tyki's hands as they walked into the hallways. The sun's rays already shining through the curtained windows, Road sniffled as she started talking once again "He just suddenly started crying and screaming when we were talking. I didn't know what to do! He was hurting himself and I can't stop him."

Tyki realized that this was probably the reason why Road is upset. But he knew that Road isn't the one to blame for Allen's actions; it was the exorcist… he didn't know that the exorcists could've done so much damage to their comrade. Since the moment Tyki first saw Allen he already knew that he was strong, his eyes filled with burning determination, when he fought Allen the boy didn't give up despite all the pain he experienced. How could someone who was once so strong weaken so fast?

It saddened him. He could never imagine a world without his family. He could never imagine a single moment that his family would betray him. He really can't. It hurts him to say this but he knew that Allen considered those exorcists as his family but then in the end he was thrown away.

He couldn't think of the pain and sadness Allen experienced when he got betrayed by his comrades. He couldn't think of the Noah family like that, there is no way that they will betray each other. Just thinking about it made his hearth heavy and he doesn't want to know how it hurts when it turned into reality.

"…Tyki? Are you okay?" Road frowned worriedly at him. He replied in a soft chuckle "I'm afraid; I am not after hearing what you just said." He slung his arm around Road's shoulders and with a smile he said "Come on. We have to fetch Allen for breakfast."

* * *

Allen woke up in the same familiar room once again, his eyes adjusted from the sudden brightness of the sun. He let out a groan when the sudden smell of smoke filled his nose; he clicked his tongue in annoyance when he saw Tyki standing beside his bed with a cigarette between his fingers.

"Oh! You're awake." He huffed out smoke making Allen cough a little bit "Ugh. Stop doing that." He tried sit up from the bed; his muscles ached at the sudden movement.

He frowned; his body was sore all over. How long have he been sleeping?

Tyki seemed to notice his discomfort and helped him sit up the bed "Does your body hurt?" he asked gently. Allen made a small noise when pain suddenly overwhelmed his body; it took him a few seconds before nodding to Tyki's question "What time is it?" he asked quietly as he touch his stigma. For some reason it didn't hurt that much anymore but he felt another stigma at the right side of his forehead.

Tyki glanced at the watch on his wrist before replying to the boy "About four in the afternoon, we came earlier this morning to fetch you for breakfast but you were sleeping soundly so we decided not to wake you." It was a good decision not to wake up Allen another stigma has marked its way unto Allen's forehead. He was the one who treated the wound on Allen's forehead when they went early in the morning and it sure did take a lot of effort to not wake the sleeping boy.

Allen immediately got up and ran to the mirror at the side of the room; he stumbled in shock when he saw his reflection. The stigma on his forehead looked quite healed except for the new one… and his eyes isn't the same shade of purple anymore instead it was molten gold. Like the color of the burning sun. It was way too bright, contrasting with his white hair and pale skin.

Fear rushed into him… it's all happening so fast. He's turning into a Noah and he can't turn back now. His dreams last night were the 14th's memory; years of memories flooded his mind like a vivid dream. He is the 14th.

He already has the Noah memories… all that is left is his body to be fully adjusted into a Noah.

He saw Tyki chuckle a little bit as he smoke his cigarette, he growled at the older Noah "Adam. Where is Adam?" he didn't know why he called the Earl 'Adam' but those words comfortably slipped out of his mouth. It was like instinct, he knew e _verything_ around him and it all felt familiar to him.

Tyki shrugged "I'll call him for you." He walked out of the room and had the guts to drop his lit cigarette on the floor. Allen scrunched up his nose as he took the cigarette from the floor and placed it on the window sill.

"Good afternoon, Allen."

Allen whipped his head to find the Earl standing at the room's doorway with Tyki smirking behind him. The Earl's arms were spread wide with that damned smile still plastered at his face "A-Adam." Allen's heart nearly exploded, his guts twisted with emotions.

"Huh?" the pudgy man tilted his head to the side but Allen could see something behind his glasses.

"N-Neah called you that…right?"

Tyki scoffed behind the Earl "Your topics are becoming more… personal. I'm pretty sure you guys don't want me to hear your conversation." His eyes were searching for his cigarette though, he let out a sigh when he can't find his cigarette and turned to his heels with a disappointed face "…I can't smoke with Road around." He mumbled quietly but still loud enough for both persons to hear.

"Oh! Tell the maids to bring some food. Allen hasn't eaten in a while." The Earl called out to Tyki who already started to walk away "Hm… sure…" he mumbled something inaudible before phasing through a wall and disappearing.

Allen stared blankly for a few seconds and made sure that the other Noah is completely away from there. He then approached the Earl and wrapped his arms around him, much to the older man's surprise. There is something seeping inside of him, something bitter boiling inside his heart. His hands rose to touch the Earl's face gently… then smiled "…Mana…"

The Earl gasped and hugged the white haired teen tightly with his chubby arms. He never felt so happy. This is it. He is finally winning, he'll have the 14th by his side once more and at long last their family would be reunited once more. It has been long ago since he has forgiven the 14th and this time he'll make sure that their family's bond would go stronger.

He don't want to waste time, he found the perfect opportunity to tell this poor boy the truth and save him from the lies that all the exorcists put him through. He'll set him free and at last their one true goal would be fulfilled.

Happiness creeps through him as he gently pull back from the hug and pats Allen head "Fix yourself first, we'll talk at dinner."

Allen let out an annoyed grunt before muttering a small "Fine."

* * *

"Hello~ Allen!"

Road wrapped her arms tightly around Allen. He didn't mind the Noah who is clinging to him as he ate his dinner… The Earl sat at the other side of the table with the umbrella golem in hand. Then there is Tyki who sat besides Allen with that mocking smirk that annoyed the hell out of him.

"You seem a lot calmer now."

Allen nearly choked on his food "W-What?" he asked. Road giggled and loosened her hug around Allen "You were a mess when you first came here. You couldn't even think straight." She then proceeded to sit on The Earl's lap and took the golem off the man's hands before throwing it a few meters away. This made the golem complain but just flew back to their side. Road continued her sentence completely ignoring the loud golem "Right, Millenie?"

Allen frowned "A mess? You kidnapped me!" he exclaimed before he took the cup filled with orange juice and drank half of it. Not minding the cold liquid sliding down his throat "We kidnapped you for your own good, boy." Tyki added in a bored tone.

"If you stayed there do you really think you'll survive? Survive your own thoughts? The pain of your Noah transformation? The memories of the 14th that haunts you at night can be enough to drive a normal man insane. I don't think you'll survive the suffering you felt when your beloved exorcist friends left you to rot. It's going to destroy you, Allen."

Allen flinched at the sudden harsh words that were thrown at him but he didn't want to argue with what the Earl said.

"My friends didn't betray me." His shoulders slumped as he said those words. Road would have find it more entertaining if Allen yelled and became angry because it seems like something an exorcist would do. Always screaming to no extent. But instead Allen said those words with a bland tone that sounded as if he rehearsed those lines a few times.

"I know they wouldn't" he swallowed as he tried to find the right words to say but it seems to be missing "They did their duty as an exorcist." He can't think of anything to say. All he's just saying are just meaningless words that don't even belong to him.

"Stop lying, Allen. If you hate them it's alright, it is part of Noah genes to hate humanity and innocence." The Earl's tone was stern but it reflected a hint of worry. Allen protested "I'm not" he shut his eyes closed trying to stop the tears that were warning to flow out "…I'm not a Noah… yet…They will save me." His voice cracked at each word.

Road's lips curled into a frown when he saw Allen cry once more "…Allen." She whispered and looked at the Earl with a worried look.

Much to her surprise, the Earl let out a loud laughter "Humans? Saving you?" he slammed his hand unto the table "You think those filthy exorcist will save you? Humans are just creatures lower than us; their lives don't mean anything except for hindrance at our goal. But you already know that, Allen. Am I right?"

He knew that he is winning against to exorcist. He'll have Allen by the time this conversation ends. He'll have the 14th by his side,

"You already have the 14th's memory, don't you?" Tyki grinned but his tone sounded so kind it didn't match his smile.

Allen's expression changed and his lips twitched "Don't….I…I…" he was cut off when the Earl spoke "Stay with us, Allen. We are your true family."

Allen's head spun in confusion and their words filled his head like stuff cotton. They are lying…right?  
He didn't know who to believe; he can't distinguish what is right and what is wrong as he frantically try to separate his thoughts from the 14th's emotion that is filling him each second.

Then something snapped inside of him, he sputtered out a choked laugh, earning looks from the Noah "Aha…ha…" he wheezed as he wiped fake tears from his eye "Do you really think you can renew this broken world?"He nearly stood up the chair and looked at the Earl directly at the eyes. His whole body flared with so much emotions… anger, sadness, yearning; you name it he felt it.

"Yes." The Earl answered so simply that it made Allen almost wants to slap himself, his eyes narrowed in confusion, eagerly waiting for the man to continue "Of course we do… after we wipe this world of innocence, the three nights of darkness will decide for us." Road nodded in agreement.

"Noah and exorcist" Allen's lip curled to a frown "You both have the same goal. Two sides of the same coin. So why bother?" he asked once again. These were unanswered questions he wanted to know since the time he became an exorcist. It is so hard to comprehend why these two sides fought each other for the exact same goal. Allen became an exorcist without knowing what path he's taking, all he had to do is just keep walking and never look back, never regret the decisions he made.

Tyki snorted as he looked at the Earl, waiting for an answer.

"Well, do you think that the exorcist can change the world? They are the same as those who pollute this dying world. They are selfish and weak, only thinking about themselves all the time. I don't think most exorcists even know what their purposes are." The Earl replied to Allen. The teen seemed to blank out for a few seconds before blinking.

The Earl couldn't help but feel giddy; he couldn't surpass the happiness welling up inside of him. Allen Walker is already on their side and nothing can change that. It has been decided. The new Noah has already realized it. He found out his true purpose.

"Oh."Allen's face contorted into confusion, his fingers fidgeting as mumbled something to himself then he took a deep breath before repeating the same "Oh." That's the time The Earl already want to jump out of his chair and dance in pure joy.

Allen's head stopped hurting and everything felt so clear and all of the 14th's memories came flashing back to him. Neah was the traitor but Allen is not. He is not a fool who is selfish enough to destroy everything around him. He is not Neah Walker. He is not a fool.

What's so wrong about believing?

Is there anything wrong with letting go of his _hope_?

He is going to walk the path that is clearly in front of him. He won't turn back anymore. He won't try to destroy the path that God forced him to walk…

He raised his fingers to touch his stigma, body trembling slightly as he brushed his hair a little bit.

Road's smile became wider as she glanced at Tyki who flashed a grin at her. Excitement bubbling inside her "What do you say, Allen?" She asked in the sweetest tone.

Allen already knew his answer. He knows. Road knows.

And he knew and she knew.

And with a soft smile on his lips, the catalyst of the war and the undeniable victory for the Noah family has already been decided.

"I… I… Allen Walker, swear my loyalty to the Noah Family."

 **END**

 **Next Chapter:**

 **\- Sometimes it is better to "unforgive" people**

 **-Allen's final stage of transformation**

 **Author's Note:**

 **This chapter is not edited so please bear with my mistakes. I find it fun writing about Allen and the Millennium Earl because I really like a father and son bonding with the two of them. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Please review, I really enjoy reading reviews and it gives me more motivation update.**

 **Bye everyone, see you in the chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3: Our doubts are traitors

**three**

Road Kamelot hummed happily as she twisted the umbrella in her hands, her heeled shoes stepping over the nicely grown red roses on the ground "Mistress Road! You're ruining the garden –Lero." The golem exclaimed in pure nervousness. The Earl is going to be mad if he found out that the garden is ruined. It did take a lot of effort and time to grown these roses and even more in maintaining them.

The Noah of Dreams giggled happily as she let out a loud squeal "I just can't help it, Lero! I'm so happy!" she then raised the umbrella and started bashing the roses on the ground, her foot stomping quickly with the rhythm. Lero shrieked in terror as more roses were destroyed the more they walked around the garden.

Road ignored the annoying rambles of the golem as she leaves a messy trail behind her.

Who wouldn't be happy? Her beloved Allen is already at their side. They saved him from the Order who keeps hurting and hurting him! That's something to celebrate about. But then even though she is celebrating at the moment… there is something dark seeping inside her heart and she couldn't control it. Is it because she is furious at the exorcists for hurting her beloved Allen? They really did hurt him really, really badly.

"Oh. What are you doing here, Road?" she jumped a little bit at the sudden voice but her mild surprise was replaced with excitement when she saw Allen sitting at the gazebo with a familiar golem floating around his head… when did that got here?  
She shook her head and decided to ignore the yellow golem as she ran and wrapped her arms around the new Noah. The boy let out a nervous chuckle as his fingers tapped on the wooden table anxiously after he saw Road bashing the perfectly beautiful garden.

"Allen~" She greeted as she jumped up the wooden table, startling Allen when her heels clicked on the wooden surface. She then sat on the table "So… What are you doing here, Allen?" she asked, the boy gave her a small smile "I could ask the same for you, Road… but I am planning to record something for the exorcists." He pointed up to the Timcanpy who is now resting on his shoulders.

"Why?" Road asked with a frown etched on her lips, why would Allen even bother communicating with those exorcists? Does he still feel a connection between those traitors? She gritted her teeth as she waited for Allen to reply "Ah… I don't want them to look for me anymore. It'll be so bothersome if they meddle with us, don't you think so?" Allen replied as he nuzzled Timcanpy's golden fur with a warm expression on his face as if he didn't say such words.

Road's eyes widened… she didn't expect Allen to say that at all. But not like she minded it. It actually made her happier.

"Then… Can I be in the video?" She asked with a sly grin in her face, she couldn't wait to mess with the exorcists emotions. She'll probably make them hate her more but that's what makes everything fun; seeing all their enemies getting crushed little by little is one of the best past times.

Still, it is kind of surprising to see Allen like this… at the way he threw harsh words. She remembered Allen being so close with the exorcists; protecting them even if it is quite obvious that he's pushing himself too much to the point when he is forcing his body to move. They must have done terrible things for him to be like this. But thanks to those exorcists they don't have to force Allen to be on their side.

Allen seemed to ponder for a while before nodding "Sure, why not?" he then gestured Timcanpy to stay at the other side of the gazebo to get a good view at him. Road on the other hand skipped behind Timcanpy as she gestured Allen to go on. He then took a deep breath "Ready, Tim?" he waited for the golem to shift a little bit before continuing "I'll start now, okay?"

* * *

"H-Hey? Isn't that Timcanpy?"

Johnny Gill pointed at the flying golem rushing in the science division's office, Lenalee almost tripped in shock and the tray filled with mugs of coffee nearly fell down her hands "Johnny! Don't yell like that." She scolded the scientist and placed the tray to a random desk "Ah. Sorry, Lenalee." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he ran to Lenalee's side. Timcanpy landed smoothly on Lenalee's shoulder with its small wings flapping gently.

Almost instantly the golem started tugging Lenalee's hair using it mouth to pull Lenalee to where to Komui's office. It is almost normal that golem memorized the whole head quarter; it stayed here for a long time after all.

"Lenalee!" Komui greeted with a wide smile on his face as he tried to hug his little sister but instead stopped when he saw a familiar golem moving uncontrollably around Lenalee's shoulder "…Brother, I think he wants to tell us something." The golem then nodded its whole body in response and then suddenly its mouth opened to reveal an almost projector like video.

" _I'll start now, okay?_ "

Lenalee's heart almost exploded when she saw the familiar white haired boy in the projection. Allen Walker is almost in front of her, with the same nervous smile as he looked straight at her. Allen's eyes are not the same as it was before; it was molten gold and it hurts just to see that bright color staring back at her. Allen's hair messily covered his forehead but Lenalee was sure she could catch a glimpse of multiple stigmas on his forehead.

" _Err… Hello, it's me Allen Walker._ " Allen waved his hand a little bit as he muttered something under his breath " _I know I've been gone a few days and I know most of you know about me being the 14_ _th_ _Noah… That's probably the reason why they imprisoned me but I don't really mind. Back then I was really scared of myself too."_

Allen paused for a while as his shoulder seems to tense up and he glanced a little at the sky " _I was so scared of losing myself… of losing you guys. I'm scared of hurting everyone around me. Even if it hurts me so much to try and stop the imminent future that is haunting me every single second I fall asleep."_ He then smiled and that was the time Lenalee's heart shattered into pieces. His smile looked so sad and heart-wrenching… she hasn't seen him smile like that. She felt tears flow down her eyes as she continued watching the recording.

" _So… please… don't come looking for me, I don't want to see you guys hurt."_ He forced out a soft laugh trying to make himself look comforting, his golden eyes pierced directly unto Lenalee's as his expression changed into something different. Something unexplainable. His lips curved into a slight smile doesn't reflect any emotions anymore " _I promise, though, we'll meet again soon. Not in that wretched head quarters I once called my home but in the battle field. I'm not going back there anymore."_ He stares directly unto them and then there was an uncomfortable silence.

Their eyes focused unto Allen's twisted smile and none dare to speak a word or move an inch. Lenalee shakily took a deep breath and looked back to her brother who gave her a small nod, his lips curled into a sad frown.

" _Allen~_ " A familiar voice broke the silence as Road Kamelot jumped into the picture and wrapped her arms around Allen, the Noah of Dreams sat on Allen's lap despite the obvious space around her. Allen looked slightly flustered but didn't react; instead he placed his hand behind Road's back to make sure that the Noah wouldn't fall off his lap.

" _See! Allen doesn't want to be with you anymore-_ " Lenalee was sure Road is talking about her, the way her eyes glared directly at her _"-So don't even bother and look for him. Even if you did I'm sure he wouldn't even spare a single second of his time just to waste in on traitors like you._ " She heard a small sound from Allen as he mumbled something she couldn't hear.

" _You exorcists hurt our family member and I promise we would be the one to take revenge for Allen."_ Despite her bitter tone the way she glances at Allen shows so much care and affection. The Noah really does care for Allen, they really did love him even though he was an exorcist, and even if he had innocence in his body… they didn't judge him.

" _Road… don't talk like that_." Allen frowned making Road laugh and nod " _Aww… But I'm doing this for you, Allen._ " She pouted; the white haired teen sighed and just shook his head. Road's smile didn't fade as she pressed a soft kiss unto Allen's forehead " _Come on… lighten up. You've done nothing but sulk since you got here._ " She said sweetly as her fingers traced over Allen's hair gently.

Lenalee couldn't take what is in front of her, her heart hammering out of her chest because Allen is letting Road touch him without complaining. He even smiled a little when Road's lips pressed unto his forehead, the way his hands wrapped around Road's waist without hesitation makes her heart ache with so much jealousy.

She has been with Allen for so long but she noticed that Allen never shows much affection to her and to their other friends. But still, she knew that Allen cared for them and Allen sacrificed almost everything for them. She knew but she has been too selfish to do something for her beloved friend. She couldn't return all those things Allen has done for her, all she did was cause him trouble and hurt him even more. Why couldn't she do anything?

Allen deserves more than what he got. Yet he didn't complain and kept on doing the same things that has been hurting him over and over again. And he is doing it for them. Not for himself.

They have been too selfish and dependent on Allen.

They treated him like he was some sort of machine that wouldn't complain despite the way he is being treated.

Is this why he looks so happy with the Noah?

" _Ah. Am I?_ " Allen chuckled " _I'm sorry for ruining the atmosphere with my negativity. How can I make it up to you, then?_ " he shifted a little when Road hopped off his lap, his hands helped the girl up to her foot in a graceful manner. Road's smile widened " _Hmm… How about we play with Tyki tonight? I promise that it will help brighten up your mood!_ " she exclaimed happily.

" _Huh? Why with Tyki? I'm pretty sure I can beat him all the time_."

" _That's the best part. Tyki is not used to losing and he is going to be so disappointed if he lost at you_. _Plus we can tease him! It's not like he can do anything about it_."

Allen laughed softly and they could see a glint of mischief in his eyes _"Okay. Let's do it._ " He then stood up from his seat and then gave a short bow " _It's time to say goodbye, my dear friends. Let us meet again._ " The recording stopped almost instantly as if Allen has been hurrying to finish his recording. Of course he is.

Timcanpy then flew to Komui's desk, scattering a few papers here and there but it is not like there is much difference. The room has been messy since the start so why would anyone bother to pick up the papers. Nobody broke the silence, even Timcanpy just sat quietly on the pile of papers under him. Johnny's fingers clutched tightly at the pocket of his lab gown, his palms turning pale from the amount of pressure he is putting unto his skin "I… I… knew it. This is our fault." He couldn't find it in him to cry, despite the intense sadness he is feelings. His eyes were dry and the only thing overflowing in him is disappointment? Anger? Betrayal? How could Allen do this to them?

Questions rushed into his made and an indescribable emotion filled him "Lenalee… Komui… It's our fault. We…we were the one who has been hurting him all along." He muttered sadly. Komui shook his head sadly as he broke the swirling atmosphere of emotions around them. His eyes were cold the same as his voice when he spoke, Lenalee couldn't find any single hint of sadness from him.

"Call the others. We are going to have a meeting. We can't let Lvellie know about this."

* * *

Road Kamelot didn't get the chance to play with her family member that night. The moment they finished eating dinner, Allen excused himself from the table and hurriedly ran back to his room. She sighs in annoyance as she licked the red lollipop in her hands, it didn't taste as sweet as she thought it would be.

"H-Hey! Damn it! A little help here Road?" Tyki called out to Road, wincing when Allen's foot hit his stomach with a loud, muffled sound. Road snickers in response "Haha~ you suck at this, Tyki." She jumped off her chair and skipped to Allen's bed. Tyki was holding up Allen's arm, his legs on top of Allen's knees so that the boy wouldn't kick him, when the transformation started Allen started to scratch the stigma on his forehead and it was strong enough to draw out blood. He let out a painful blood curling scream and twisted his body to the side making Tyki's grip on his tighten, Allen's fingernails were now digging unto his ashen skin but he didn't mind the stinging sensation that is now on his hand.

Road placed her fingers to wipe the blood off Allen's cheek , her lips curled when the warm liquid drips down her hand "His nails dug to deep. There's a gash on his forehead." She brought her fingers to her lips as she slowly licked the blood off her hand. Tyki made a face before replying "That can't be helped. It'll heal instantly later, don't worry about it." He flinched a little bit when Allen's hands started to shake uncontrollably; he loosened his grip to make sure that the boy wouldn't get hurt.

Road let out a whine "Why is it taking so long?" she asked sourly; crossing her arms. Tyki chuckled in response "Ah. It depends on the Noah… I guess…" he shivered remembering the pain he once experienced during his transformation "My final transformation lasted the whole night." He explained to Road.

"Mine didn't take the long." Road fumed as she sank back to her chair. Tyki grinned "Well good for you, Road." He blinked for a few seconds a laughed. Road shrugged "It was so long ago. I don't remember it anymore." She mumbled then shaking her head she smiled "I'm really looking forward for tomorrow."

E **ND**

 **Next Chapter:**

 **-Allen Walker as a Noah**

 **-Family meetings are the worst**

 **-The exorcists won't make up for their mistakes**

 **Author's Note:**

 **I'm really sorry for this late update. My laptop broke weeks ago and now all of the chapters I wrote in advance are gone. So I have to rewrite everything from scratch, this chapter is not suppose to be this short but I rushed it so that I can give an update. I am really sorry. I know a lot of you guys are disappointed but I hope people will still read this. Thanks for waiting and for your support. Don't forget to review!**


	4. Chapter 4: Is this the dream he dreamed

**four**

Allen Walker woke up with his whole body aching and a line of saliva at the side of his lips, he slowly sat up before realizing that he has been sleeping on the floor. That's probably the reason why his whole body felt cold and ached at his movements; a frown appeared on his lips and noticed that the ones sleeping on his bed was Road and Tyki "You guys…" he sighed and didn't bother waking up the two sleeping Noah on his bed.

He slowly stood up from marble and floor and picked up the thin sheet of blanket that fell down from the bed. He slowly folded it noticing the ashen tint of his arms and his blackened finger nails, he blinks for a few seconds before realizing…

Oh. He's a Noah now.

Putting the neatly folded blanket at the side of his bed, he hurriedly raised his arm to touch the raised stigma on his forehead. It has healed already as he traced their cross-like shape "I have to get used to this…" he muttered.

The last part of his transformation was one of the most painful thing he ever felt. He was sure he was screaming his lungs out last night, it felt like hell. His skin burned and itched at every single movement he made, even the slight feeling of wind across his skin felt like needles prickling him all over. He did remember coughing out a lot of blood, no wonder the blood stains on his clothes. He wished it didn't get on his bed or else it'll be a pain to change bed sheets. Good thing that it only happens once.

His fingers traced over his left arm and he regretted it. He immediately withdrew back his hand when a sudden jolt of burning pain filled his sense, his skin stung and there was a slight burn on his finger. He couldn't even move his innocence back then and now it's acting up again? He bit his lips and looked at the glowing innocence at his hands… a small sudden though filled his mind "…Maybe I should…"

Allen was cut off when a sudden squeal interrupted his thoughts "Allen!" Road Kamelot jumped up from the bed in an almost animated manner as she wrapped her hands around the new Noah. He didn't have the time to react and let out a surprised a yelp before shaking off the surprised look on his face "Ah… Good morning, Road." He smiled, heat rising up his cheeks.

"Good morning! You look so cool, Allen!" she exclaimed happily, Allen chuckled Road is pretty energetic for someone who just woke up… Tyki however, seems obviously awake but he sat lazily on the bed with an annoyed expression on his face.

Allen locked eyes with Tyki… it took a few moments for the older man to react and let out a shocked gasp "Oh! It finished." Despite the messy lock of hair that is covering his face, Allen noticed a grin spread unto the Noah's face. Road turned her head to Tyki with a goofy smile plastered on her face "Allen looks cool, right Tyki?" she asked almost bouncing off from Allen's arms. The older Noah let out a soft chuckle "Yeah, it fits you." He stood up from the bed and pats Allen on the head.

When Road broke their hug, the door suddenly slammed open and he was greeted by multiple Noahs standing at his doorway. He recognized every single one of them with ease.

Tryde, The Noah of judgement.

Desires, The Noah of desire.

Wisely, The Noah of wisdom.

Feedler, The Noah of Corrosion.

Mercym, The Noah of Pity.

Bondom, The Noah of Bonds.

Lustol, The Noah of Lust.

And lastly, Mightra, The Noah of ability.

His heart almost wanted to jump out of his chest when he locked eyes with the Millennium Earl. The two Noah who is with him glanced at each other before Road ran and hugged the Noah of Desire, Sheryl as Allen could remember.

Tyki winked at him before following behind Road and stood beside Wisely who gave him grinned at him. Now, he was left alone… awkwardly standing in front of these people.

He was standing in front of the people _he_ once betrayed. How could _he_? Why would _he_ betray his own family?

"Welcome back, my dearest fourteenth."

The Earl spreads his arm wide and Allen immediately rose up from his position and hugged the pudgy man with a tearful smile "I'm back. I'm finally back." Warm feelings rose in his heart, seeing all of them smile at him. With such loving smiles he hasn't seen for a very long time.

"Allen… Are you crying?"

Allen then noticed that were tears trickling down his cheeks like waterfalls, he let out a soft laugh "Yeah… I guess so." He pulled back from the hug, wiping the tears from his eyes. Why is he crying?

He is finally happy. Reunited with the people he was meant to be with since the start. This has been the destiny he's running away from since the past… but now he will accept the path in front of him. He wouldn't carry the burden of being an exorcist anymore. He's a Noah now, a disciple of the true god. He will now carry the will of his family no matter the cost.

After all, he is now the 14th Noah.

He scanned the people in front of him and their presence felt so familiar. He felt like he was truly home. With a smile he whispered a small 'Thank you' but he was sure everyone heard it. The Earl quietly dismissed everyone even Road obediently followed, Allen watched all of them walk away and now the only Noah left is him and the Earl.

He stared at the man for quite a while. It was strange… he fought the Earl in the past and considered him as an enemy but now… there is this feeling in his chest that he couldn't explain. He loved the man. The same way the old 14th does, if only, he didn't betray him.

"Allen, are you okay?" The Earl asked him as he scanned the boy who gave him a small frown. Allen shook his head "I-I'm sorry." His voice cracked and he kneeled in front of the chubby man "I'm sorry I betrayed you… He has been such fool. He has been so greedy that he tried to destroy all of you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my past actions…" he was cut off when the Earl placed his gloved hand unto Allen's lips.

"That was not you, Allen. It was Neah. You do not have to bear the guilt of the actions he once did because just like what you said, you are Allen Walker. You are not Neah Campbell. Not the traitorous 14th, because we trust you."

"I-I… But still- I am the 14th and I bear the burden of his memories. But I promise you… I wouldn't be like him." Allen smiled and took a shaky breath in. He slowly stood up from his position; his knees ached a little bit.

"We'll talk later, my child. Breakfast will be an hour from now, make sure you use the time to freshen up. The maids have prepared a bath for you." The Earl ruffled his hair before leaving his room in silence, closing the door as he left.

"Master Noah, We have prepared a bath for you."

Allen jumped when he saw a female maid akuma behind his back; he nodded in response and let the akuma lead him to his bath. With a small bow the maid closed the door leaving him alone with his thoughts once again. He let out a sigh as he stepped inside; his eyes scanning the room… one of the most noticeable about this arc is that everything is extravagant. He eyed the mirror, since this morning he haven't seen what his appearance is yet.

His skin is darkened ash as expected; clashing with his pure white hair and eyelashes, the golden hue of his eyes bothered him the most. For some reason, he isn't comfortable seeing the bright golden irises of his. The stigma on his forehead overlapped with the red pentacle that marked his skin with the red pentacle that marked his skin years ago, his lips twitched "Ah. This doesn't look appealing at all." His fingers traced slowly on his forehead. Despite everything being fully healed, he couldn't help but feel faint traces of pain on his skin. It was… odd. He certainly has gotten used to pain now, hasn't he?

He unbuttoned his shirt and folded it neatly as he placed it on the tiled floor, the scars on his skin is gone. Not even a single one remained. Even the whip marks that he thought were going to haunt him for eternity has disappeared. He blinked… this doesn't seem right though. He is on his Noah form and this form is different from his human form in a blink of an eye his skin turned back to its normal pale complexion. Allen let out a chuckle "I knew it." It was the same as ever. They were there. The scars are still marking his skin to this very day. From his chest to his back they are still the same.

This human form is still the same.

He always thought that being a Noah would a big change… that he would be different afterwards. He thought wrong. He is still the same. He is still weak.

 _He is still an exorcist._

This damned innocence is still on his arm and it _hurts_ him. His own innocence is hurting him and he hates it. Yet, he still loves his own innocence after all they had been through… he still loves his crown clown.

He stepped foot into the tub, the overwhelming smell of roses filled his nose "Oh. I reek of blood." he smiled as he dipped unto the water; it was warmer that he thought it would be. The blood that stained his skin has already started to mix in with the water, dying it crimson.

"Dried blood is always a pain to remove."  
After he finished taking his bath he noticed a pile of neatly folded clothes placed at one of the shelves. He almost slipped when he saw a handwritten note on top of it saying ' _It'll look good on you –Road.'_ The heart drawn lazily at the end even made it more embarrassing than it should be. He knows that these were not here a few minutes ago… There is no way that Road managed to sneak it in here most of all him not noticing her presence. Maybe he just didn't notice them when he walked in.

He hurriedly wore them; it was a simple white dress shirt along with a pair of black slacks and vest. He brushed his hair with his fingers as he dries it with a bath towel, looking at his reflection on the mirror. Before he could realize it he might've unconsciously transformed back to his Noah form while he was taking a bath.

He walked out of the bathroom and was slightly surprised when he saw the maid akuma still waiting for him outside the door "Master Noah, I have come to gather your laundry and give this to you." The maid gave him an elegantly wrapped box in which he silently thanked Road for it.

He then proceeded to take his old clothes and handing it to the akuma. The box holds a pair of black dress shoes that matched his outfit perfectly, Road really does have an eye for these kinds of things.

"Ah! Akuma- Are you not leaving yet?" He asked the maid standing beside him "I have been ordered to escort you to the dining room, however if you don't want me around I can-" Allen cut off the akuma "N-No. I'm sorry I didn't know…" he gave her an apologetic smile.

The akuma bowed in response and it took Allen quite a while to wear the shoes because of its tight laces. On his bedside was a pair of black leather gloves, which is a good thing since he doesn't really want his family to see his innocence on such an important event.

"It's time to leave, Master Noah."

Allen nodded as they left his room, the hallways were the same as before but it looks better in sunlight rather than at night. The dining room was downstairs, the first thing that greeted him was a pair of gigantic doors "It is my time to leave, Master Noah. Enjoy your meal."

"Wait! Can I request something, Miss Akuma?" Allen gave her a smile, he isn't requesting for it though; he knew that his words were an absolute order… it was obvious how the akuma's form stiffened when he talked to her. His expression darkened, the smile on his face twitched "Burn my clothes. Make sure that there would be no traces of them left." The maid nodded and hurriedly left. Allen eyed her as she disappeared from his sight.

"Wow! You seem pretty grouchy early in the morning." Allen locked eyes with the Noah behind him and it took him a few seconds to recognize him "Ah! Wisely!" the shorter Noah grins as they went inside the room.

"You two are late!" Road huffed in annoyance but she smiles at Allen "Allen~ sit beside me!" she patted the empty chair beside her in which Allen immediately sat on. The dining room was noisy and he couldn't help remembering the mess hall back at the head quarters. Allen wondered if the circumstances are different, would he still be an exorcist now.

The Earl cleared his throat causing everyone to stay silent "I have gathered you here today so that we can celebrate the arrival of out dearest 14th and so that I can assign new tasks to all you now that he is here."

Allen nearly choked. He knew that he is in no position to complain or reject his mission but he had just finished his transformation, he still doesn't know about his Noah abilities. How could he handle a mission?

He glanced at Tyki locking eyes with the older Noah he saw Tyki's mouth form into a sly smirk that Allen is very familiar with. He shook his head in response as he listened back to the words of The Earl. His hands shakily holding the glass cup containing a peach tinted liquid. He noticed that some of the Noahs have alcohol in their glasses and the only exceptions were him, Road and the twins.

"There has been a rumor about a witch in Spain, I want Tyki and Wisely to confirm if it is indeed an innocence." The Earl pointed at the two Noah. At first he saw Tyki's eyes light up when he heard his name being called but it fell when Wisely has been mentioned.

"Why do I have to work with him?" Tyki asked, eyeing the Noah of Wisdom with an annoyed look on his face. Wisely snorted "Don't be stupid Tyki. You know I'm good at interrogating people." He took a bite of his food with no single emotion on his face but Allen was sure there was a smug tone on his voice.

"Last time I worked with you. I ended up doing the entire job and fighting exorcists by myself." Tyki deadpanned he angrily crossed his arms receiving a glare from Road. The Earl chuckled but ignored the commotion happening between the three Noahs.

"Allen, you don't want to do that kind of missions yet, Am I right?" The Earl asked Allen. He nodded in response and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly "Yeah… I don't want to be involved with the exorcists for a while." He slowly placed his utensils down on the table as he carefully listened to what the Earl is going to say.

"I understand. In that case… you are going to help me make akuma!" The Earl threw his hands up cheerfully in which Allen choked on his own spit the second time.

"W-what?" he stuttered his blood ran cold and he felt his innocence throb. He furrowed his brows in confusion waiting for The Earl to reply but the older man completely ignored his question and continued assigning tasks to the other family members.

Road snuggled closer to Allen as she placed her head on Allen's shoulder "Don't worry Allen! I'll come with you."

He didn't know if Road was comforting him but he hoped that he could carry on his mission.

 **END**

 **Author's note**

 **Hello again everyone!**

 **I'm sorry for not updating again but I've been sick for awhile but I'm okay now! I really wish I can update more because I have so much ideas in my head.**

 **Thank you for supporting me!**

 **Don't forget to comment and follow. It really gives me motivation to continue the story.**

 **Next Chapter:**

 **-Allen's first mission**

 **-The exorcists**


	5. Chapter 5: Dread shape humanity betrayed

**five**

Lily Anne was a young woman; she was beautiful with her tan skin and hazel eyes. Her voice was soft and silky like a child. She was kind and helpful to everyone around her… That's probably the reason why Victor loved her so much even after death, his fingers traced across the glass cover of a photo that was taken on her funeral. Looking at what his wife body looks like now, her skin pale and dry like sandpaper despite the obvious effort of the mortician to cover it up with powder. Her lips were covered with a thick lipstick and it did not match with her pale skin. It reminded him of what she was like before she died.

No one was around at her funeral; it was only him since her body was delivered from the morgue. She did not have any relatives or any friends, acquaintances that would even care to attend her funeral. The thought of that made Victor's heart ache; he remembered her final moments. The way she held his hands so tightly and the way she mumbled something that Victor couldn't understand.

Then suddenly the door behind him opened with a loud creak, he immediately turned around and saw a figure of a young teen standing in front of him. The young teen looks rather strange with his skin pale, his hair pure white and his golden eyes that icily stared directly unto his. One thing that intrigues him though was the scar that painfully lined down under the boy's eye and the pentagram a few centimetres above his brows. He wondered what kind of things kids are up to these days?  
He sniffled and tried to wipe the tears of his eyes; delinquents around town are common but didn't know that they would actually go around and try raiding other people's houses.

"Go away, kid. I don't have any money around for you to steal." He said gruffly in an attempt to scare away the teen. The teen immediately reacted by shaking his head with an embarrassed look on his face "Err… I'm sorry! I didn't really mean to trespass here!" He pulled away the hood he was wearing and took off his light brown coat "I'm really sorry… I didn't mean to scare anyone."

Victor then realized the teen seemed to be a mild-mannered person, the way he dressed shows that he came from a rather noble family. But why would someone with a high status went here?

"You see… I have a really special job and I hope you might agree to it." The teen continued with a smile on his face "First, can I ask your name?" he offered a gloved hand to Victor in which he hesitantly shook "I'm Victor." He didn't tell the boy his last name in fear that the boy might be someone suspicious.

"My name is Allen Walker. If that can make you feel at ease." He smiled warmly at Victor. Without a single word he took a step forward and leaned to Victor "Do you want your wife back?" his words came out of his mouth smooth and straight as if he has done this a lot before. Victor gulped and felt the small bead of sweat trickle down the side of his face.

He couldn't believe it. What kind of question is that? He never mentioned the death of his wife to anyone outside town. He tried to hide the fact that his beloved is dead whenever he went out of town and nobody seems too noticed. How could someone know? His fingers snaked around the picture frame he was holding "W-What? That's impossible."

The boy let out a small laugh his gaze on Victor not leaving "Ahaha… I promise you it's possible." He took a step back, his hands behind his back while the heels of shoes made a loud click on the wooden floor. Before Victor could even realize, a metal framed skeleton appeared in front of him. He didn't know where it came from but he was definitely sure it wasn't there a second ago.

Allen traced his fingers lightly on the metal framed skeleton, his golden eyes following the movement of his fingers as if his hypnotized "This is a special machine that could bring her back to life and all you have to do is-"

"YOU'RE LYING! THE DOCTOR COULDN'T EVEN BRING HER BACK WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE!" Victor yelled. This time he couldn't trust the strange boy, the figure in front of him looked terrifying. The metal was dark and murky colored with a pentagram at the middle of its forehead. He knew something was wrong, his guts twisted painfully into a dark pit and he was sure he's shaking.

"You don't believe me? Why not try? All you have to do is call her name." Allen didn't seem bothered with what Victor said but there was something behind his eyes. He couldn't tell if it was pity, relief, sadness or just plain annoyance. But Victor could see the twitch on the younger boy's eyes.

Victor wanted to try. Victor wanted to call her name but there as something stopping him. A part of him was screaming to run away, to not utter a single word but he really wanted to bring back Lily. What's the harm in trying? All he has to do is say a name…right?

He opened his mouth to say a single word but instead nothing came out. He wheezed for air and he couldn't understand what is happening to him. He glanced at Allen who seemed to notice his discomfort "Are you okay, sir? I-I could help you-" he held out his hand and took a step closer to Victor but he shook his head "N-No I'm fine."

Victor wanted Lily back. But he understood that what is gone couldn't be brought back to life, the boy's question is just a wishful thinking that would never come true "I'm sorry but I won't accept your offer. I have already gotten over my wife's death." He bit his tongue because he was obviously lying. The boy frowned "Oh. What a disappointment." He gave Victor a forced smile "You are a really bad liar, Victor." This time the way he mentioned his name drips with so much malice. His pale brows furrowed in what seems anger.

Victor didn't give him what he wanted.

Of course, bringing back the dead is impossible. The kid's probably messing with him.

"I'm sorry. Please leave." Victor pointed at his door but his eyes are still locked unto the metal skeleton in front of him. The boy seems to blinked for a few seconds, confusion evident in his face before he let out a loud laugh that will haunt Victor's nightmares forever "Hear that miss Lily Anne? Your husband doesn't want you back! He wouldn't even mention you name, for god's sake. Just give up already! You won't ever come back to land of the living." Allen's voice sounded crazed, his eyes glints with pure madness as he locked eyes with Victor.

He took a small bow "Goodbye. Miss Lily Anne is crying, you know." He turned around to walk to the door and Victor couldn't help but-

"Wait! Is that true? M-My wife wants to be back?" his voice cracked and he could feel his eyes water, all he got was a cold look from Allen. He deserved that. Victor didn't believe in him after all… but maybe… maybe… if it's true… "All I have to do is call her name, right? Victor asked and once again the boy didn't reply. Without a single second of hesitation he-

"Lily Anne."

He didn't know why he did it but something is terribly wrong. A disgusting popping sound filled his ears as the metal frame of the skeleton starts to break. He took a step back, his knees shook like jelly. Victor turned his head to find Allen standing behind him, his gloved hand placed on his shoulder. The boy's eyes were wide filled with disgusting amusement, his pale lips gaped slightly and Victor could feel the boy's fast breathing behind him.

"W-What the hell? This is wrong. I don't want this anymore… I-" He was cut off by the sudden change in the boy's skin. He saw the way his skin instantly changed into an ashen gray, from his neck to his face in mere seconds. It was horrifying to see how the crosses started to mark itself unto his forehead, this time slower making him see each lines mark it's way to the boy's skin.

He heard a soft laugh behind him "The transformation is beautiful, isn't it?" Allen's voice sounded distant this time, softer like the way a child would talk to an adult when they dream of something "I can't get enough of it. It's sickening."

He was so immersed and confused in how Allen changed his appearance into a matter of seconds that he didn't notice that the skeleton is now standing limply, its jaws cracking and moving unnaturally before a sound came out of the skeleton's mouth "Victor… Victor." He almost felt like his whole world stopped. That voice filled his ears and he thought that we would never hear it again.

"How could you?! You turned me into a demon! Why?!"

Then everything spun back to place. All the pieces of puzzles connected itself into a one horrible fate. He took a step back and pushed Allen away from him "You lied to me! You said you will bring her back!" he was screaming; the tears did not stop falling from his eyes and his heart felt like it would stop at any moment. The boy looks taken aback by what Victor said, he bit his lips and Victor was so sure he saw a hint of sadness in the boy's eyes "I did not lie. I said I would bring her back… I did." He then gave Victor a smile before turning back to the demon and walking beside it; removing his gloves from his hand to reveal blackened fingernails pointing directly unto Victor.

Then with a voice as smooth as silk he declared loudly "My dearest akuma, kill him and wear his skin. It's time we wrap this up." His grin widened when he saw the akuma shake its head frantically "No… No… VICTOR! RUN!" before it limply chased towards Victor.

Victor didn't run. He couldn't move even if the demon was in front of him with it with its metal arms raised above his head… he didn't understand. It was his own fault for trusting someone whose intention was different from the start. It was all a lie. He closed his eyes and the last thing he heard was a muffled voice and the flash of pain on his head before everything stopped.

" _Goodbye, Victor."_

* * *

Road Kamelot watched Allen throw up as soon as the akuma killed the foolish human. She was impressed by Allen's performance; it was way different from The Earl. He gave it more meaning and an ending darker than she could ever imagine. It took a lot of time though but that didn't matter because it entertained her. Allen's acting skills are the best.

She walked towards him with a graceful smile playing on her lips, her arms widely stretched because she knew what Allen is going to do next. It took a second before Allen could notice her "R-Road?" he stares at her for a second before sprinting to her and wrapping his arms around the small girl.

Road couldn't help but smile even wider. Her heart danced with so much joy, her stomach bubbling with delight as she familiarized the warmth of Allen's body. Allen sobbed quietly while Road rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him "I'm sorry… I don't want to do this." He was shaking his head, his hair brushing against Road's neck and… _god it smells amazing._

"Its okay, Allen. You can do better next time." She smiled when Allen nodded and pulled back from the hug. He turned away his face from Road and wiped the tears of his cheeks "I…I…I don't want to this." He muttered once again.

Road pouted and cupped Allen's face with her hands; making him look directly at her "Then… will you do it for me?" a smile formed across her face when she saw Allen's eyes lit up. He then let out a weak chuckle before smiling back at her. Road did not expect an answer. But that's okay maybe someday-

" _Anything for you, Road"_

She froze and heart bursts into millions of pieces. She felt heat rising up her cheeks before she squealed and wrapped her arms around Allen once more "Promise?" she held out her pinkie to Allen. The younger Noah tilted his head before nodding and interlocking their fingers together "Promise."

Road then noticed a red splatter on Allen's white dress shirt "That stupid akuma. It made a mess." She really wanted to destroy that akuma for messing up Allen's clothes but how could she destroy Allen's creations? He took his time to make that akuma, after all.

"Don't be like that, Road." Allen he shakily took his coat from the ground and wore it "Should we go?' he held out his hands and Road took it with no hesitation before a white gate appeared before them "Oh. You want to use your gate, Allen?" Road asked and blinked a little bit when the bright light hit her eyes.

"It's fine if you don't want to use it…" Allen looked flustered, regretting his actions. Road giggled… how could someone be so cute? She shook her head before jumping into the gate, pulling Allen with her with a loud yelp. Allen was sure he dropped his gloves on the ground but that didn't matter. It's not like anyone would be around to find it.

* * *

"How was the mission?" Komui asked the two exorcists in front of him, Lenalee brushed her short hair behind her ear and nodded "It's been pretty quiet lately. Only a handful of level ones and twos… its strange isn't it, brother?" she asked nervously making Lavi flinch as he try to lighten up the mood "Don't worry! It's nothing dangerous. The finders can actually take care of the other akuma."

Worry filled Komui's senses. Something's not right. It's not possible. Right. He has been right all the time. Theories and guesses filled his mind, god he hoped that he's wrong. He took a deep breath to calm himself down but it didn't work "Any Noah sightings?"

Silence filled the room before Lavi replied "…No… Can it be that?" he shook his head and looked pleadingly to Komui.

Komui wished that he is wrong. But at this moment the blanks were finally filled in and he could make a conclusion.

It made sense.

Everything made sense.

The lower number of Akumas.

Allen Walker's message.

He was warning them. Something is going to happen.

The Noah family is preparing for something. They are doing something important other than destroying innocence… Something's more important than that- No _someone_ is more important than that.

 _A family member._

Allen's been gone for quite a while and there is no doubt he's not an exorcist anymore. The Noah family might have succeeded in poisoning Allen's mind and Komui knew how valuable Allen is to the Noah family and to the exorcists.

He hoped Allen didn't fall for the Noah.

But that's just his wishful thinking isn't it?  
"Allen's with them. There is no doubt that he already sided with the Noah." Komui said to the two exorcists, he saw the way his beloved sister's eyes widen when he saw those word "He wouldn't do that, right? I trust Allen." She winced a little bit at how cold and calculating Komui's eyes are. Lavi didn't react, instead the smile from his face fell and realization hit him hard. He expected this. He knew and yet he didn't tell because Bookmen never tell something that would change the future. Lavi nodded and his façade broke entirely "I trust him too, Lenalee. But don't you think it's too obvious?" his voice was harsh and bitter.

He's a Bookman. However he couldn't help but feel… sad? And it hurts too much. It was fault because he knew and he knew but he never stopped it. If only he could. He doesn't hate Allen, he would never. He would hate himself before that could even happen.

"Can't we just believe? Just for a while…please…" Lenalee was crying this time and Komui's heart ached. He found himself wrapping his arms around his little sister "I know, Lena." He's going to do it again. Whispering sweet nothings to Lenalee, promising that everything is going to be fine but it never will be. Nothing was ever fine when you're an exorcist. He always saw people he was close with suffer and disappear right before his eyes. He can't do anything except for promising a better future that will never come.

It hurts him more every time he does it.

But it wouldn't hurt to believe right?

He faced the two younger exorcists, forcing a smile on his face "Yeah." He couldn't find him in him to utter another word.

 **END**

 **Hello everyone! I'm back with another chapter. I hope everyone will enjoy it! I'm really happy with the reviews I got in all the past chapters! Thank you so much. They really mean a lot to me. Anyways, this chapter is not edited so any mistakes will be changed in the near future. Don't forget to review!**

 **Next Chapter:  
-Time ticks so fast and it is time for Allen to meet old friends.**

 **-Slowly breaking Allen Walker**


	6. Chapter 6: Pretty wrongs liberty commits

**six**

It's been three months nearly four since Allen Walker's disappearance and Lavi was quick to notice all the changes in his friends. Lenalee's hair has gotten quite longer that she is able to tie it up in a short ponytail when training. She spent more time training and doing missions than other things, hoping to encounter Allen in those missions. But it was all for nothing because there were no sightings of a single Noah these fast few months. However, the number of akumas has increased and they have gotten more aggressive so the missions come and go so fast.

Kanda Yuu came back and was… mad? About Allen's disappearance but Lavi knew better that Kanda is blaming himself. They all were blaming themselves. Although, it is obvious that Kanda is trying his best to get along with others in the absence of Allen Walker. He also wanted to start finding Allen but he was stopped by other officials so he ended up doing nothing.

Lavi knew how dangerous it is to search for Allen, most likely of how the other Noah family members would be protective of their new ally.

Today marks the day of another mission, he has gotten used of sleepless days and nights so a new mission this week is nothing new to him. He opened the door to Komui's office noticing at how messier it has become "Ah! Lavi, you're pretty early this time." Komui smiled at him, his eyes not leaving the paper works he is busy signing. Lavi blinked in confusion "It's four in the afternoon." He said to Komui before sitting down at one of the chairs.

"Is it? I haven't eaten at all." Komui sighed before closing the folder of the paper works "This is exhausting." He frowned. Exactly at that time two other exorcists went in the room. Namely, Kanda and Lenalee who just came back from another mission.

Lavi grinned at the duo and greeted them "Good afternoon, Lavi." Lenalee greeted him back with a smile, her eyes looking tired and her hair messily falling down her shoulders. She sat besides Lavi and Kanda as she waited for her brother to explain the new mission.

"Is there something wrong, brother?" Lenalee asked worriedly to Komui whose eyes are still focused on a paper he's reading. The older man shook his head in response "Err…. No…" He cleared his throat before proceeding "The finders have gathered information in a small town in Greece, it seems like a man has gone missing and there has been countless of murders after that." He flipped through the reports given to him by the finders.

"The bodies were found covered with star like patterns; this is no doubt an akuma." Komui said as he showed the photograph of a human body covered with the akuma virus. Kanda clicked his tongue in annoyance "Is that it? You gathered the three of us to eliminate a single akuma?" he stood up to leave the room but stopped when Komui continued "-Although, in the house of the said missing person the finders have found an expensive leather glove that is seemingly out of place. I know this might sound absurd but I think… Allen was there."

Lavi bit his lips "But it's just a glove." He frowned to Komui. This doesn't seem logical at all but if that was indeed the house of the newly turned akuma… Allen Walker might be linked to it. Komui nodded "I know but I'm sending you guys to investigate and eliminate the akuma there. A part of me feels like Allen Walker was there… I can't brush it off." He gave them the small folder containing the information they needed "The man's name is Victor and his wife died months ago… he probably was the one who made the akuma." Komui found himself feeling deep sympathy for the man.

Lenalee nodded "When's the mission?" she stood up from the chair and brushed her skirt, her eyes gleaming with determination and hope. Kanda looked back in anticipation as he waited for Komui's answer.

"You leave today."

Lavi let out a sigh, leaving as soon as the mission was given is something he's used to but the trip to another place will take a lot of time. Sitting on a train for hours with little entertainment is boring. He stood up from his chair and followed after Lenalee, closing the door silently as they left the room.

"Hey…Lavi… it's our fault, isn't it?" Lenalee asked, her head bowed down as her hair covered half of her face. Lavi wanted to say yes but that would not help in this type of situations, would it? Lavi is more than willing enough to take the blame because he watched as Allen was taken away to his cell and he didn't help his friend.

He wonders if he did help Allen, would any this happen.

He forced out a smile and slung his arm unto Lenalee's shoulder; dragging Kanda with them too "What do you think you're doing, stupid rabbit?" Kanda angrily protested but he didn't seem to push off the arm that was playfully wrapped around his shoulder.

"We were the only ones who Allen relies on but we were never there when he needed us most." Lenalee continued; she didn't expect an answer from Lavi. She knew how it hurts them all to think about their missing comrade. This topic has been something the three of them rarely mentions, keeping all their emotions hidden inside them in an attempt not to hurt each other.

"But that's why we will keep on fighting for each other. We will see him again soon, okay?" Lavi smiled at Lenalee, his guts were telling him this time something big is going to come. Kanda was eerily silent as they walked down the hallways but Lavi couldn't help but see a small grin form across the Japanese boy's face.

Lenalee laughed as she twirled a strand of her hair "Yeah… I hope so."

* * *

"Allen, your hair has gotten longer, hasn't it?"

Road Kamelot said dreamily as she brushed Allen's hair with her fingers. The other Noah frowned as he stares at the mirror, observing the length of his hair "Does it look bad?" he asked worriedly as he held a lock of his hair from his bangs. Road shook her head "It looks really good on you." Her smile was warm making Allen sigh in relief. He did notice that his hair was longer but it doesn't even matter to him anymore, Road lazily rested her head on Allen's neck "Maybe we should tie it?" she took the red ribbon from her vanity, she does not even use her hair accessories anymore. She hates it when she has something on her hair.

Allen took the bunny plushie that is placed besides her vanity. Her room was always messy, filled with toys and dolls that were arranged on her carpeted floor to her bed. Her candles are the only source of light in the room giving the room an eerie feeling. He wrapped his arms around the bunny plushie as he nodded and smiled at Road "Sure."

Road squealed in delight and grabbed the hair brush from the vanity as she started working with Allen's hair. Her hands were delicate as she brushed Allen's hair, his hair is soft and smooth that it would make other girls jealous. That's why Road promised herself to take even better care of her hair so that she wouldn't lose to Allen. Despite the lightness of her hands; she managed to tie it into a neat high pony tail; she finished by gently brushing down Allen's bangs and brushing a few stray hair behind Allen's ears.

Allen gasped as he turned his head a little bit to get a good look of his hairstyle "Thanks, Road!" he beamed. It feels better too, the back of his neck feels airy and light "I look more mature this way… I think." He shook his head to see how the ponytail bounced, making the Noah of Dreams giggle "You do~ you look more like Tyki and daddy now, actually" Road purred as she placed her head on Allen's shoulder. The other Noah sputtered a laugh "I'm sure I look better than Tyki, though." he leaned in closer to Road, heads facing the mirror as they both laughed.

In these past few months he has been with the Noah, he has found himself getting closer with the Noah of Dreams. He actually spends the most time with her because he enjoys her company the most but spending time with Tyki and the twins is also fun. He also now realized why Tyki does not want to pair up with Wisely, the Noah of Wisdom could actually go into a useless mode whenever he feels like it. Allen once asked him out to go with him but Wisely ended up forgetting that they were supposed to make akuma rather than sleep on the benches on a random park and look like a total idiot.

But other than that he's a fun partner to be with.

Making akuma is still something Allen will never get used to. Although he does it almost every single day, he hates seeing innocent people suffer because of him. His mission never gets boring even if Road said that it is extremely repetitive… he finds the stories of each individuals interesting. He knew what he was doing was wrong but that's the price to pay when you're fighting in a different side of the war. It's horrifying at how he can still sleep peacefully at night even if there is a heavy feeling of guilt washing through him every time he finishes his mission.

"What do you want to do today, Road?" he asked as he stood up from his chair as Road took gentle steps backwards, he offered her a hand in which Road happily took. She then grinned at Allen "Are you done with your mission today?" she asked. Allen nodded not minding the memory that flashed back in his mind "Y-Yeah…" He answered silently, the shorter Noah giggled "That's great!" she praised him by wrapping her arms around Allen's. He couldn't help it but smile despite the sharp pang inside his heart.

"We're going to Millennie today." She exclaimed not hiding the obvious excitement radiating from her. Allen's eyes widen "What? I just finished my mission report with him." He was sure that the Earl is not in a great mood today. It was obvious from the bitter tone dripping from the Earl's voice when Allen spoke to him. He didn't know whether the Earl is mad at him or it was because of the reported exorcist attacks. The Earl didn't mention anything when Allen asked if he was alright.

He sighed when Road didn't listen and instead dragged him out of her room.

To put it simply, the ark is a large place. Walking to the other side of the ark is bad option and it would take them quite a long time to reach there. Allen knew this by experience and he probably won't do it again. He stepped in Road's door in which took them to the great room that the Earl always spends his time in.

"Oh! It's nice to see you two." The Earl greeted the duo, placing down the newspaper he's reading back on the coffee table. Road immediately jumped unto the Earl's lap not caring if she startled the old man "Millennie~" she purred the Earl's name in a sickening sweet tone. Allen bit his lips as he sat on the ottoman besides the Earl, lazily resting his head on his arms.

The Earl chuckled "Do you want anything, Road?" he asked. The Noah of Dreams smiled "Maybe… it's time to change Allen's mission." She said, golden eyes not leaving Allen.

Allen nearly fell out of the ottoman and his mind did a double take. A nervous chuckle escaped Allen's lips and he noticed the way the Earl's smile widen nearly to the impossible "Road's lying!" he yelped, his eyes looking down at the floor as if it is the most interesting thing he ever saw.

The Earl ignored him and laughed "Of course, my dearest Road!" He exclaimed happily and Road let a loud squeal, giggling like madman as she jumped off the Earl's lap and skipped over to Allen who still refused to meet her eyes "Come on, Allen! Cheer up. We both know you don't like making akuma." She smiled and patted Allen's back soothingly.

A soft sob was heard from the Earl "Aw… but I thought you were actually getting comfortable here." He comically wiped the crocodile tears from his face. Allen frowned and stood up from his chair "I-It's not like that- I didn't mean…" he was cut off when the Earl bounced off his chair and wrapped his arms around Allen "I know~ it's fun teasing you, Allen." He laughed.

The Noah of destruction let out an embarrassed cry "Let me down!" His lips curved into a frown and he could feel heat rising up his cheeks. The Earl gently dropped him down the floor and Allen jumped backwards and he almost forgot the reason why he is here. He let out a sigh to calm him down, his posture straightened as he covered his mouth with his gloved hand, faking a small cough.

The atmosphere of the room went serious as soon as the Earl sat back on his chair, leaving the two Noah standing right in front of him. It took a few seconds for them to continue back to their conversation "Did something happen?" Allen asked. Road glanced at him and seemed to notice the tense aura around the Earl before she wrapped her arms around the older man "I'm sorry! I didn't notice sooner." She sniffled.

"There's an exorcist." The Earl began and he took deep breath in "A very young one. Her innocence has the ability to nullify dark matter… she could nullify a Noah. Lulubell encountered her yesterday and told me she couldn't transform back to her Noah form." He was interrupted by Road's loud shriek "Is she fine?"She pulled back from the hug and stomped her foot angrily on the ground. The first Noah nodded "She immediately retreated, don't worry."

Allen instantly knew what his new mission was. There's no point in acting dumb anymore… However, an exorcist with that kind of innocence; he has never heard of that before. She's probably a new member. Road smiled at Allen despite the wicked glint in her eyes and the sparking of dark matter on her finger tips "Do you want us to destroy her, Millennie?" she asked although judging from her tone it was more of demanding rather than asking.

The first Noah sniffled and nodded "Are you okay with this, Allen?" he inquired. Allen blinked… after so long he will meet exorcists again, former allies that he used to be with. And they're going to hate him again and brand him as a traitor even if he didn't do anything.

All he did was walk the path that was right in front him… right?

They were the one who threw him away. Yet… he still loves them.

He smiles. Throwing away all emotions he didn't need because why would he feel something for them? "Of course, there's no way I could refuse." He was surprised when Road jumped into his back. He struggled a little bit, trying to get used to the sudden weight on his back. He gently placed his arms under Road's legs making sure that he supported the girl so that she won't fall of his back.

"Good luck, my dearest children. If anything goes wrong retreat immediately." The Earl instructed, he didn't notice a swift pair of hands grabbing a certain golem from him.

* * *

"You stole me again-Lero!" the pink umbrella complained, obviously panicking from Road's tight grip "The Earl is going to get mad at you –Lero!" Lero jabbered trying to pull itself away from Road. Allen sighed as he jumped off Road's door, his ashen skin changing back into a pale hue as he transform back into his human form. He landed on the grass with a soft thud "We have to walk to town, huh?" Allen grimaced looking around the abandoned church's window.

Road nodded "It'll be suspicious if we just appeared out of nowhere." She grinned when Lero let out a loud plead that made Allen jump in surprise "Master Allen! Help me- Lero!" the golem finally found the time to leap off Road's tight grip and hid behind the male Noah.

Allen frowned and gently held the golem "Road… you're irritating Lero, you know." He looked at the umbrella who gave him a small 'thank you'. He sometimes brings Lero to his missions but not because the Earl gave the golem to Allen but Road always manages to steal the poor Lero from the Earl, dragging him into his mission. Speaking of golems, Timcanpy still hasn't returned yet and he couldn't say that he's not worried but he knew that Timcanpy always finds a way to get back to him. He'll find a way to get Timcanpy back to him.

The two Noah then went out of the church when Road started complaining about the dust around them. The church didn't seem old, though. The windows were intact, the floors are still in perfect condition and the wooden pews are just covered in dust. He wondered why they would abandon a nice church.

Allen shook his head as he saw a familiar wooden cabin near the church… he didn't remember in which mission he went here but he has been here before. He tilted in his head in confusion, searching his mind for the possible answer "I can't believe you forgot your first mission." Road giggled besides him.

Something in his mind clicked "Ah… it was mister Victor." He said glumly as memories flashed in his mind once again. Road then took his arm "Want to check it out?" she pointed at the widely opened door of the cabin… Allen didn't know if they left it like that months ago or if some people went inside.

"What? The Earl will be mad if the two of you didn't do your mission –Lero." The golem sputtered, looking worriedly at Allen and Road.

"He won't care. We'll finish this before dinner, calm down stupid Lero." Road stuck her tongue out and pulled Allen with her, not even letting Allen answer her question. They stopped in front of the door because of the shuffling sound inside. Road blinked as she peered on the window, seeing a faint silhouette inside the house.

Then Allen felt something twinge inside him. He didn't know what it was but something is burning inside of him… his skin itched and his guts twisted. Road glanced at him but immediately returned her eyes to the moving silhouette inside the house, her lips curled into a cruel smile.

Allen tightened his grip on Lero as he looked behind him, his heart started to beat faster and he didn't know why he feel so irritated. He kneeled down and whispered "…Road… Can we leave?" it was probably guilt. He would never forgive himself for what he has done to the owner of this house.

"Trust me, Allen. You'll realize it later." She winked before taking a step back and changing back into her Noah form before Allen could notice, the Noah of Dreams vanished from sight. He brushed the back of his head "This is not the time to joke around, Road." He muttered under his breath. His eyes scanned his surroundings, looking for traces of his companion.

"MASTER ALLEN! IT HURTS! –LERO!"

A painful crash was heard inside the house.

"O-Oh! I'm sorry, Lero." Allen let go of Lero as the golem floats besides him. He didn't notice that he was actually holding Lero and he probably held him too tight. He jumped back when a humanoid figure jumped out the window.

"What are you doing here?" A voice hissed and it took Allen a while to familiarize the sudden figure in front of him, a young girl, a year or two younger than Allen. With a petite figure and long lavender hair… he eyed the girl from head to toe.

An exorcist. Her uniform says so.

Allen took another step back, bumping into Lero who is floating behind him. Words did not form and the only thing he could feel is the intense storm of emotions inside him. His vision spiralled out of control and the only thing he could focus on is the exorcist in front of him.

"This is a forbidden place for villagers. Get out." The exorcist spat, glaring at Allen. He did not respond and Lero is suddenly gone, the girl did not see the golem. A small wave of relief washed his senses. Allen's fist curled tightly into a ball and he didn't notice the droplets of red staining his thin white gloves.

The girl stared curiously at Allen and took a step forward, Allen's body jerked at the sudden action. He sucked a deep breath in… he still doesn't understand the strange feelings he's having "This place is dangerous, only exorcist are allowed here." The girl warned, Allen noticed the smug glint in the girl's eyes "Do you want to die?" she asked him but Allen knew it was a warning and something clicked inside of him-

" _You're overly confident for a rookie exorcist."_

His mouth opened automatically and he nearly slapped himself for what he just said. The girl snarled at Allen "Who do you think you are?" she dashed to Allen and grabbed his collar even though she is way shorter than him.

When her skin touch Allen's arm, it burned. He gasped and pushed the girl away from him "Y-You're a parasitic type, aren't you?" he asked, panting as the burn spreads through his arm even if he is not touching the girl. The girl narrowed his eyes at Allen "How did you know?" she asked, suspiciously taking a step back.

Allen gulped and tried to ignore the pain on his arm as he forced out a tight smile "B-Because I have innocence too." He slowly pulled down the sleeves of his left arm, showing his red colored arm and the faint glow of innocence under his gloves. The girl let out a sigh of relief "My name is Pia." she introduced as she took a lazy step forward, eyeing Allen's innocence.

"Allen." He replied simply, the pain on his arm fogging his mind "Tell me, how long have you been an exorcist?" he asked. He rolled down the sleeves of his shirt and hid his right arm behind his back, trying to hide the burn that is slowly spreading on his arm. Pia snorted as she brushed her hair behind her back "A month ago. Don't underestimate me! I can nullify dark matter." She huffed and Allen could almost imagine smoke coming out of her nose.

Well for an exorcist, her innocence is strong and could affect the powers of both akuma and Noah. Allen could see where she got her confidence from. She could make an akuma useless just by her mere presence.

"Say, you're not an exorcist, are you?"

It was a simple question but Allen could hint the venom in her voice. She doesn't trust him, of course, who would trust someone they just met in an abandoned house? Allen nodded "I'm not. I don't plan to be one." He answered bitterly. Pia laughed much to Allen's surprise "Oh! That's too bad." She then took a step back from Allen, eyes not leaving Allen's silver orbs before taking out a small device from her pocket "I'll still bring you to the order."

He couldn't help but laugh even if his arm felt like hell.

He hoped that Road is somewhere near here because Pia is now calling to her allies, probably other exorcists. Pia's eyes did not leave him; a sign that the moment Allen tries to escape she will chase after him.

Allen did not want to kill her. She's young. She still has a chance to fix her unpleasant personality and learn to actually act like a proper lady. But is there any other way to destroy parasitic type innocence? He does not even know which part of her body is the innocence.

"Road. Now is not the time to play around. Please help me a little bit."

No response.

"Road! Stop joking around."

Nothing.

Did Road leave him again?

She does this sometimes in some of his missions but they do not include dealing with the exorcist. He will talk to her later and probably ask the Earl to scold her. This isn't the first time she skipped missions but now is such a wrong time.

"Who are you talking too?" Pia asked him, he smiled at her "No one, how about you?" he did not expect her to answer his question but instead she did "Kanda. I told him there's a stubborn innocence holder who does not want to come with me." Her lips were in a wide smile, confident that Kanda can easily _persuade_ unwilling innocence holder to come with them.

 _Kanda._

Allen's whole world froze. It took him a few seconds to process the name in his head. He then panicked "K-Kanda? Did you tell him my name?" he couldn't stop the air that was rapidly escaping his lungs every second.

Pia placed back her device in her pocked before she furrowed her brows "I forgot but they'll still know it later." She replied.

Allen did not waste a single second as he sprinted away from the exorcist. The pain on his arm flared once again and he almost forgot that it was there for a second. Kanda is here. So must be the others. His friends are here… if then… why is he running away?  
He ignored the heavy feeling in his heart and focused on going back the abandoned church so that he can run retreat back in Road's door.

He then returned back into his Noah form, feeling relief as the burn on his arm slowly disappeared. The faint white building of the church can be seen from his position as he cautiously scanned his surroundings. He sighed in relief as he pushed back the messy strand of his hair away from his eyes, trying to calm himself down.

"Master Noah!"

He turned his head to find a level two akuma running towards him, fear radiating from the akuma. He frowned as the akuma jumped down from the high ground "What is it, akuma?" he asked; noticing the traces of battle on the akuma's rough skin.

The akuma looked around his surroundings before answering in a soft voice "A group of exorcists attacked mistress Road." The akuma whispered. Allen's heart fell as he heard the news from the akuma "How many exorcists?" he asked, panic filling in his senses as his mind started to get overwhelmed with emotions once again "F-Four, Master Noah." The level two replied.

Allen felt like an idiot. There is no one chasing him because the other exorcists might have found Road first. It would have been fine if that parasitic exorcist is not there but Road could not fight without her powers.

"Thank you, report to The Earl immediately. Tell him that Road has been defeated and that I'm the only one fighting the exorcists." He ordered the akuma as he ran back to the old house not even caring when the akuma started to call out his name.

When he almost neared the house he saw four figures standing together and he recognized each one of them even if he is far away from them. His stomach twisted when he saw the unconscious figure of Road slumped on the ground, her skin pale instead of the ashen gray that Allen has gotten used to.

"Master Allen –Lero." He immediately grabbed the umbrella who was floating above him and put his gloved hand on its mouth "Be quiet, Lero." He warned as he took a step forward. Trying to conceal his identity, the moment they know he's there Pia would instantly nullify his Noah abilities. That would be an instant defeat for him.

A small ball of dark matter formed on his fingertips as his fingers touched the ground, the small ball of dark matter started to form thin strands as it crawled on the ground quietly until the whole area around them is surrounded with hair-like dark matter. He hoped that it would be enough to hurt the exorcists just to immobilize them so he can retrieve Road.

Using his voice would be almost impossible because it would immediately reveal his location.

He lifted the strings from the ground, seeing that the exorcists now felt his attack. He didn't mean to copy what Sheryl does when he fights but it would be the most logical way to conceal his presence. He pulled the strings of dark matter tightly and he heard the exorcists started to cut through the dark matter and avoid his attacks.

"Show yourself, Noah!" One of the exorcists yelled… Lavi… Allen took a deep breath in when he heard the voice of his old comrade. He- He didn't want to hurt them. He didn't want to fight them, either. But they did hurt Road in an unfair battle… so why would he hold himself back? "Nullify him, Pia!" he heard Lenalee say to the other girl.  
"I can't see him!" Pia replied as she bit back a sob when the dark matter cut through her skin.

Wait… see?

Realization filled Allen's mind and he instantly knew where the girl's innocence is. He choked back a laugh that is filling his throat because he shouldn't be laughing. He shouldn't find this hilarious. How could he be like that to other people?

"Do me a favour, Lero." He opened the umbrella despite its loud protest before throwing Lero directly at the exorcist's face, making sure that Lero would cover up the girl's eyes. He then sprang in the middle of the exorcist and immediately grabbed Road's body; carrying her back to his old position before the exorcist could even process the blur they just saw.

He sighed in relief before yelling "It's time to go back, Lero!" he saw Lero close itself and retreat away from Pia's body before sulking as he floated back to Allen. He wished that the exorcists would still be dazed with the sudden attack and not hear his voice but it was too late when he locked eyes with one of them.

"A-Allen?"

His Noah form instantly faded.

All eyes of the exorcists were suddenly at him and his body froze in… fear? No, he's not scared. That feeling of his has numbed since the moment he became a Noah. He didn't even fear death anymore. He noticed the lone tear that trickled down his cheek… he felt guilty.

He hurt them.

He hurt his friends.

How could he?

He's a traitor.

A traitor.

In the end, he's not much different from them.

"Did you do this?" Lenalee asked as she took a step forward to Allen, knowing that he wouldn't attack them. Not in his human form. He couldn't use his abilities. He couldn't transform back to his Noah form. He can't find it in him to lie and he slowly nodded his head.

Before he could realize it he heard Lenalee and Lavi scream out his name and the hilt of Kanda's sword is already pressed on his throat. His skin burned at the sudden contact to innocence.

"Listen here, bean sprout. You will come back with us to the head quarters whether you like or not because I will slit your throat the moment you try to escape." Kanda hissed bitterly.

Allen couldn't help but chuckle as he felt nostalgia wash through him "It's Allen BaKanda." The samurai seemed to loosen his sword on his throat but did not remove it. He knew they were enemies but he missed them. He missed them so much.

If only they weren't on the other side of the war.

"I'm sorry, Kanda" He elbowed Kanda's stomach painfully as he retreated away from the samurai, flinching when he rubbed the burn on his throat. That was the time when Lavi pushed him on the ground to immobilize him "Do you think you can beat us without any special abilities? Think again, Allen. We just want to help you." Lavi's voice sounded worried and sad that it almost impressed Allen. His escape is impossible but he knew there is still something he could do. A familiar song filled Allen's head and he opened an entrance way to the ark a few feet away from them.

He smiled when a bright light flashed behind him before he screamed "LERO! TAKE ROAD BACK TO THE ARK NOW!" He heard Lero protest but he couldn't even focus anymore as he tries to keep his ark entrance open.

Lero pushed Road's body into the entrance and called Allen's name once again before Allen closed the entrance missing Lenalee's attack by a mere second. Kanda hissed at him "Why did you do that, you idiot?" he sheathed Mugen back to his waist. He didn't seem that angry though and that made Allen a little bit relieved.

"Because she's hurt, BaKanda." He answered simply, eyes not leaving the ground as he tried to push Lavi who is comfortably sitting on his back. Pia blinked in confusion "Y-You know each other?"She questioned pure bewilderment present in her mint green eyes. Lavi nodded, a grin forming at the edge of his lips "Yeah. He's our friend and he's also an exorcist." Lavi pointed at Allen's arm. Pia's eyes widened "B-But he's the same as the previous girl." She stuttered.

Allen couldn't help but frown at the girl's words "A Noah? Yeah." He hummed causing the Kanda to glare at him. Lenalee stared at Allen walking back to them as her innocence deactivated "Allen, whatever the Noah said to you… please don't believe them." She breathed. Lavi stood up from his back and offered a hand in which Allen hesitantly accepted. He brushed off the dust on his clothes and fixed the crooked collar of his dress shirt. A sigh escaped his lips "They didn't say anything, Lenalee. This is my own choice." He didn't make eye contact with any of them while he says those word as guilt started to creep back up his stomach again.

"So you're betraying us like that?" Kanda barked his eyes filled with hostility and his fingers are already laced on Mugen. Allen gulped and shook his head rapidly "M-Me? Betraying you?" he seethed with pure anger that he felt his chest rise up rapidly "I never betrayed you. I tried my best to stop the transformation but you imprisoned me and you hurt me!" he bit his lips and wiped the tears that were threatening to spill at any moment.

Wisely is right. He still hasn't forgiven The Order for what they have done to him. Even if he forced himself to think that he forgave them… he still hasn't. There's still a sharp pain in his heart every time he thinks about them. Wisely told him that it was because he hates them and it is natural to hate exorcists. He did not believe Wisely and he couldn't believe himself.

Kanda blinked in surprise "Allen." He said sternly "What did they do to you?" he asked his voice low. He doesn't know. He was gone for a while and the Order has done something ridiculous once again. Allen looked away from them, his hands furiously wiping the tears that is now trickling down his cheeks he sobbed "Nothing worth remembering." He then took a step away from them.

"Allen… we didn't know." Lenalee tried to comfort Allen but their friend pushed her hands away with a snarl on his face "Yeah. You didn't know but Lavi did." He scoffed and pointed at the red head. Eyes suddenly landed unto the bookman and Lavi nodded "I'm not supposed to share confidential information." He lied because he was sure he can for the sake of their friend but he didn't because he's scared to lose his title.

They all went silent and Allen took that moment to calm himself down. He has long accepted that he's a Noah but he still felt something for some of the exorcist around him. He's still grateful for all the times they shared together and all the things they taught him. The tears in his eyes dried up and forced a tight smile "I'm really sorry everyone but I don't think we are meant to fight side by side." He shoes clicked on the ground as he took another step backwards "After all, I'm a Noah now and you guys are exorcist." He glanced at Pia who is still stunned to say anything.

"I would gladly appreciate if you let me use my abilities now. I promise I won't fight you, I just really want to go home before dinner."

His tone was so convincing, so full of vindication that Pia could almost feel herself following the Noah's command. Good thing that the others could stop her from doing so. The calm expression on Allen's face contorted back into grief "Are you really going to bring me back to the Order?" he asked.

Lenalee nodded "Everyone misses you. We promise we won't hurt you." She held out a hand in which Allen accepted. He thought it was going to be fine… that he'll be home after he had a talk with his old comrades.

He wished he didn't believe them.

Because they lied to him

They lied. They lied. They lied.

He felt like a fool for trusting them. He has always been the one playing the role of the fool. Those people are not his friends. Not anymore.

They are nothing but a bunch of Liars.

He's the same as them. He's also a liar. He lied to himself countless of times because he didn't want to feel hurt. But in the end all the pain and the hurt came all at once.

He **hates** them.

 **END**

 **Author's Note:**

 **Hello everyone! I am not satisfied with this chapter and I haven't read this completely yet but I will take time to edit and change this later. Thank you for reading! Don't forget to review! I really need motivation and suggestions for the new chapter.**

 **Next Chapter**

 **-Allen regrets his decision**

 **-Tyki and Wisely saves the day**


	7. Chapter 7: Death will have his day

**seven**

Allen sat silently besides Kanda and Lavi, his hands bound together by metal handcuffs in which the exorcists agreed to be necessary so that he couldn't escape. It was the logical thing to do… because Allen contemplated jumping off the moving train's window. He laid his head back on the train's uncomfortable seat and let out a sigh.

"What is it now, bean sprout?" Kanda huffed, his eyes closed and his arms crossed. The group of exorcists did look really tired right now. Allen didn't want to ask why because he can already guess the reason; he has been through this before.

He showed his bound hands to Kanda "Can you please just take it off, it hurts you know." The metal of chains of the hand cuffs rattled loudly every time he makes a sound startling the sleeping red head beside him. Kanda clicked his tongue "Would you rather have a sword on your throat again?" he threatened with immediately wrapping his hand on the hilt of his samurai. Allen flinched and the small cut on his neck burned "No thanks. The one you gave me earlier still hurts." He mumbled silently under his breath but he still felt Kanda's glare beside him. He instantly turned his head to the side, eyes avoiding the samurai's gaze.

He never really knew how he got here. He really thought that when he went with the exorcist to a crowded town he might find the opportunity to escape but he ended being dragged to a train that will bring them back to the order. A part of him still wants to talk and meet with his old friends but it completely contradicts his loyalties because he was supposed to be their enemy.

He raised his head a bit to look at the other seats in which the younger exorcist, Pia is sleeping on. While Lenalee is sitting behind them, her head comfortably leaning on the windows as she sleeps. It was almost like the old days. He didn't notice the soft smile that crept unto his lips.

"Is anyone awake?" he whispered but he didn't expect an answer. Kanda went back to sleep in almost an instant and the others did not show signs of waking up… the maybe he can-

"I am." Lavi answered in a low voice, making sure that he wouldn't wake up any of his friends. Allen turned his head to look at Lavi then beamed a little bit "Good. I am getting bored." he noticed the way Lavi's brows furrowed in confusion before he asked "You don't hate me? For what I've done?" he bit his lips, trying to stop the words that were threatening to spill out of his lips.

Allen smiles once more and he lifted his head to look outside the window, Lavi noticed the small cut on his neck but he didn't make a comment "You did your job as a bookman." His eyes were glazed as he looked at the stars that filled the skies and the way they disappear so fast as the train moves. He didn't completely answer Lavi's question because he didn't know the answer himself.

The two of them were completely silent and the only thing that could be heard was the muffled sound of the moving train on the railways.

"Oh! I forgot. How's Link?" The sparkle in Allen's eyes returned as he stares at Lavi for answer. Lavi blink and an intense wave of guilt hit him… he doesn't know how to say it but there's no denying the loss of someone "He died." Lavi's answer was simple. The way a bookman would answer but there's a nagging feeling inside of him that he couldn't explain.

Allen's expression remained the same, the faint smile on his lips not disappearing. He stares at Lavi with wide, un-blinking eyes before a sputtering out a laugh that made Lavi cringe. Allen's laugh was light, the way he would laugh in the past during their conversations. This time it sounded sickening. But then Allen started crying, tears fell down his cheeks despite the smile on his face.

He sobbed "I-I'm sorry. It took me a few seconds to process that." He wiped the tears of his cheeks only to find that the tears wouldn't stop coming out of his eyes. He doesn't find Link's death laughable but he doesn't know why he laughed either. He cried once more. The smile on his face fading as he choked out a silent sob "It's my fault he died." He said; his tone blank before he repeated "It's my fault. It's always my fault."

 _Good riddance_. He tried his best to stop the sneer that was forming at the side of his lips.

That's the first thing that came to mind when he thought about Link but he knew that wasn't him. It was the fourteenth's thoughts. But he's the fourteenth, isn't he? He swallowed back another sob, sniffling as he mourned of his old comrade's death. He didn't care if the others woke up, he just let himself spiral down the clutches of despair. He didn't know how long he cried and didn't care when Lenalee wrapped her arms around him in an attempt to comfort him. He felt cold and Lenalee's hug felt like nothing.

"It's going to be fine, Allen." Lenalee comforted and Allen noticed the small droplets of tears trickling down her cheeks as her hands clutched Allen's coat tightly in their hug. He gently broke the hug and an empty smile stretched on his face but he couldn't say anything. Nothing came into his mind and he felt hollow as he already cried out all his sadness.

When things have calmed down Allen asked for a cup of water and Pia immediately left the room to get what he needed. The people left in the room were the four of them like how it was in the past when the four of them were doing missions but the presence of multiple exorcists around him is strangely bothering him like how it was when he first met Pia.

"Forcing me back to the order won't work, you know." Allen started "I'm a Noah now. I carry the will of my family and I can't just go back to using my innocence."

His old friends glanced at each other before Lenalee spoke out "We just want to help you. You're our friend." She smiles and her eyes fell down to the floor as her fingers gently brushed a few strands of her hair back to her ears. Allen blinked in confusion "Help me from what?" he asked. The others looked at him worriedly; Allen's expression shows pure confusion as if he really doesn't know what is going on.

Then it was silent once more. Allen clicked his tongue, avoiding the gaze of the other exorcists "I don't need your help." He said harshly as he stood up from his chair, walking over to the door of their room and held it open for the younger exorcist who went in with a tray in hand. His handcuffs making a loud sound as he moves his arms, Pia placed the tray on the table and pours Allen a drink. Allen realized that she isn't that bad and actually knows how to respect those who are older than her. He gave her a small thanks before drinking the cup of water. He ignored the other exorcists as he sat at the side, away from the others.

Before he could realize it, he fell asleep.

* * *

Allen woke up at a soft bed and a familiar place, his room to be exact. He rubbed his eyes as he yawns lazily, noticing that the handcuff that once bound his hands is now gone. He let out a sigh of relief as he looked around his old room.

It is good to know that the order didn't mess up his room. It stayed the same, except for the dust gathering at his table and bed. Despite what happened to him; staying in his old room made him feel a little better. He stood up from his bed, folding the thin white sheets of his bed because he knows he wouldn't be here the next time. He glanced at the other side of the room and noticed that the other bed where Link slept back then is gone making the room look even emptier than it already is.

He touched the thin wound on his neck and frowned, he still couldn't return back to his Noah form. He sat silently on the chair as he waited for his captors to get him out of his room. The door's lock has been changed and Allen didn't want to break the door just to escape. It'll cause a commotion and he can't even fight properly without his Noah abilities and his innocence.

It took a few minutes before he heard the door clicking open and an annoyed huff from the person who came in.

"Hello, Kanda." Allen smiles as he rested his head lazily on his hand. The taller exorcist gave him a look before he slammed his hand on Allen's desk "Don't you just greet me like that!" he hissed as he grabbed Allen by his collar. The white haired teen furrowed his brows but the smile on his face did not disappear, Kanda sighed and angrily shoved him back to the wooden chair before handing him a neatly folded pile of clothes.

"Oh? My old uniform, huh?" Allen tilted his head; as he unfolded the top with a grin on his face "What's wrong with I'm wearing now?" he asked Kanda but he didn't give the exorcist a time to answer "-Besides, I'm not exorcist anymore, remember? I can't even use my innocence."He held up his innocence with his other hand to show that he couldn't move it.

"Now you listen to me, bean sprout. I can't have you standing out of the headquarters; it'll just cause a ruckus." He growled as he took the pile of clothes from Allen's lap and shoving it to the boy's face. The white haired let out a muffled laugh from the pile of fabric covering his face "Okay… I'll wear it. Since you asked me so nicely." He rolled his eyes and carefully unbuttoned his dress shirt.

He was thankful because his shirt didn't get a single rip from the fight but his pants were such a mess. He's going to have to experience another scolding from Road for this. He didn't notice Kanda's eyes tracing down the huge scars behind his back. He then wore his old clothes, the uncomfortable silence hung in the air until Allen silently spoke "Ok. I'm finished." He was silent afterwards and immediately walked outside his room. For some reason the thick fabric of his old uniform felt uncomfortable as if it was embedded with thin needles that was pricking his skin at every single action he does.

"Don't just walk away like that, idiot. I'm supposed to be your guard." Kanda said angrily as he closed the door behind him. Allen grinned as he turned his head back to Kanda "Ah, sorry" he apologized and let Kanda lead the way.

It's not like he forgot what was in the headquarters but he hasn't been here for a long time so he doesn't remember some of the places and routes anymore. He looked around the hallways for other exorcists, finders or scientists but it was empty he looks at Kanda "Where are the others?" he asked as Kanda opened another door in which Allen doesn't know where it leads to. The samurai replied in an almost monotonous tone as if he's trying his best to drag the word out of his mouth "Most of them are in missions, the others are resting… There's been a lot of akuma lately." He answered. He stopped and looked at Allen, noticing the way Allen's eyes lit up and the way the edge of his lips twitched.

"… Don't tell me you have something to do with this?" he growled at the shorter boy who in response didn't look fazed at all. He stared at Kanda right in the eyes and the soft expression on his face faded and the only thing Kanda can see was cold eyes "I made them, Kanda. All of those new akuma were made by be." He answered softly "Although, they're not really important since they get killed most of the time. It does a great job distracting you exorcists." Kanda took a step back away from him, his eyes wide as saucers as his hands immediately clutched the hilt of his sword. Allen's expression remained cold as he just took a step forward challenging Kanda to attack him.

"What's wrong, BaKanda? Aren't you going to attack me?" the tone of his voice went an octave higher and another smile formed on his face and his hands flew up to yank Kanda's long hair "What do you think you're doing?!" Kanda snarled as he pushed Allen away from him. The shorter boy grunts at the sudden impact when he hit the wall but the smile didn't disappear from his face "You've soften up, Kanda." He clicked his tongue before dusting off the non-existent dirt on his shoulder and patting Kanda's shoulder gently "You know… you're the only one I trust around here." He then proceeded to walk forward without looking at Kanda.

Kanda's shoulders tensed but an annoyed sigh left his mouth "Fucking idiot." He followed after Allen and their walk to Komui's office was silent.

Allen felt nostalgic when the dark doors of Komui's office greeted him "So are we going in?" he asked eyeing the taller exorcist whose hand didn't leave the hilt of his sword. It confused Allen though he has no intentions of hurting anyone right now. Not when he can't use any of his abilities. The samurai nodded but didn't say anything else as he pushed the door open.

Komui's office looked the same as it was before, there were piles of crumpled paper everywhere, the strong smell of coffee hit his nose and the loud voice of Komui screaming his name felt overwhelming. The scientist ran towards him with a smile across his face "I'm glad your back." He pats Allen on the back. Allen smiled back at him "Thanks." He replied as he looked the room "Where's Lenalee and the others?" he asked. Komui bit his lips "They're resting..." he answered and went back to his desk; gesturing the pair to sit down the sofa in front of them. Allen scratched the back of his neck "Can you tell Pia to stop her ability on me? I really need to heal the wound on my neck." He stared at Kanda as he said those words "Don't you dare try, bean sprout." Kanda glared at him.

"I'm afraid not. We can't let you use your Noah form until you show that we can trust you." Komui explained his tone a bit gentle as he tries not to provoke the boy. Allen frowned but he nodded "I understand. I promise I won't cause trouble while I'm here." His hand automatically rubbed the thin wound on his neck, stinging at the newfound realization that it won't heal. Come to think of it, Allen has gotten used to his healing abilities that he can say he's gotten dependent on it. He doesn't get injured often but when he does; he doesn't feel it anymore due to his rapid healing abilities.

Komui handed him a cup of coffee "I suppose you haven't had breakfast yet, I hope this will do." He smiled and sat back on his chair. Allen happily took the cup of coffee but froze when he was about to put the cup near his lips "…This is not poisoned… is it?" his fingers shook a little bit and for a second the small cup of coffee felt like heavy metal in his hands. Komui's eyes widened "Oh dear, what made you say that? Of course it's not!" he yelped. Allen was quiet for a few seconds as memories flooded his head in a flash. He blinks as he tried to swallow the bile that was forming down his throat.

He knew what poison feels like… poison? Was it poison? Or was it a sedative? It felt like water filling up his head forcing his body to collapse. He couldn't move or speak but he could hear and see… sometimes feel. And it would burn. His back would feel like its burning and he doesn't understand the words that were coming out of his mouth.

The Order.

The Black Order.

The Order did that to him.

His mind swirled with thoughts and he was sure he's been spacing out for minutes before snapping back to reality.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm suddenly not feeling well." He stuttered but he took a sip of the coffee. It was too bitter for him.

"Ah it's fine." Komui took the cup from Allen's hand and placed it down on the table beside him. Kanda glanced worriedly at Allen. His hands were shaking and Kanda could see the way his shoulders tensed up.

"Now, Allen can I ask you a question?" Komui started, his brows furrowed in worry. He knew this isn't the right time to ask but he has no choice. Allen nodded and waited for Komui to go on "… The… numbers of akuma has been growing since you've become a Noah… Is it related you?" Komui's voice sounded pained as if he was forcing out the words. Allen stared at him for a few seconds while the black haired exorcist beside him flinched. Allen didn't hesitate when he replied "Yes." He locked eyes with Komui who winced at his answer but he continued to ask "Why would you do that?" he watched Allen sigh before the boy replied "Because I am a Noah and The Earl ordered me to do that." His tone was cold but something sparked within his eyes.

"You really have to say that? You idiot." Kanda stood from the chair grabbing Allen by his collar Allen's lips curled "Then what am I supposed to say?!" Allen snarled as he pushed Kanda away from him. Kanda slammed his fist on the table as causing Allen to take a step back.

"Saying shit like can get us in trouble, Am I right, four eyes?" Kanda's eyes were now focused on Komui; the samurai looked seriously pissed at Allen's actions. Komui blinked but then sighed "Don't worry; I made sure that the golem they put in my office has been disposed off." He stood up from his chair and walked over to the two.

"Wait, you're trying to spy on me?" Allen gave them an exaggerated gasp but it was obvious that he expected this to happen. Komui waved his hand dismissively "You know that's how the order works, they really want to know if you're a traitor or not. Good thing Kanda found about the hidden golems in my office and destroyed it himself." He assured.

A smile formed across Allen's lips "How nice of you, Bakanda." He nudged the exorcist and Kanda immediately glared at Allen but he didn't say anything else when Komui tapped both of their heads, startling the both of them.

"Bring Allen back to his room. We'll talk again tomorrow." Komui smiles as he opened the door but only to be greeted by a number of hooded people. He froze but his voice was stoic when he spoke "What is the meaning of this?" he took a step back as Kanda unsheathed Mugen.

"We are sent by the central to retrieve Allen Walker." One of them replied.

"I am the one assigned to Allen Walker and he is not going with you." Komui answered his eyes hard and if looks could kill everyone around the room would have been dead already "You heard what he said, Chief Officer he was the one who made all those akuma. It is only natural for him to be punished for what he has done." One of the hooded figures hissed; the voice was feminine and Allen could easily trace the bitterness in her voice.

Then something flashed as smoke filled the room and Allen could barely hear the words from the woman due to the loud sound of something crackling "We're sorry, chief officer. I'll try not to leave a scar."

Allen's eyes widen as he tried to run to Komui only to catch the older man's unconscious body. He didn't have the time to react when Kanda grabbed him by his arm just in time to gently put Komui's unconscious body on the floor "L-Let me go! We can't leave Komui there!" Allen shouted as he tried to pull his arm away from Kanda but the exorcist's grip on his arm is painfully tight.

"Try going back there then! These idiots are chasing behind us." Kanda grunted not looking back at Allen as they navigated their way through the hallways. Allen hesitantly looked back and he regretted it seeing that those people are so close behind them "If only I could use my ability." Allen rolled his eyes but the look on his face instantly vanished when Kanda's grip on his arm tightened.

"They're catching up." Allen panted and Kanda cursed as he pushed Allen away from him with his sword already drawn out, ready to combat those who are behind them. Allen stumbled but he instantly went back to his feet. Kanda looked back at Allen his face filled with determination "The exit gate is far from here. I'll hold them back, make you sure you get out." He didn't say anything else after that and the next thing Allen heard was the loud clashing of Kanda's sword.

Allen didn't want to run but how could he fight without a single weapon in hand. He didn't look back as he silently thanked Kanda for helping him. He knows that Kanda is strong but he couldn't help but feel worried for the exorcist. Those who are working at the central are different from other exorcist, they follow the orders they are given ruthlessly.

He stopped when he saw that the hallway is going to two different directions. His brows furrowed in frustration but he didn't have the time to think, he went straight ahead. He was running for quite a while now, was the order really this big?

"A-Allen?" A familiar voice behind him asked.

He turned his head around to see a familiar brown haired woman standing in shock with her hands around her mouth. Allen blinks as he tried to regain his composure… who was she again? It's only been a few months but sometimes he keeps confusing himself. It's hard to tell who she a person is when you have double the memories inside your head.

"Ah! Miranda!" he smiled forcing himself to stay still as he was anxious about those men who are after him. The expression on Miranda's face disappeared and turned into a relieved smile "Y-You're back?" she asked, Allen couldn't help but frown as he shook his head "Err… There are some people chasing me." He answered.

But before Miranda could even reply something exploded that he could barely hear Miranda's scream ringing in his ears "Eh? Who are you?!" Miranda demanded with her innocence already activated. Allen could barely suppress the want to destroy something… why does everything bad have to happen in one day? He noticed that there were only two of the four hooded figures are present now. So Kanda managed to defeat the two of them.

"There is no way to go, Walker." One of the figures said his voice cold but Allen could hear a hint of anger in the man's voice. He saw Miranda took a step back "I won't let you take him away again." she was about to activate her innocence only to be stopped by the man by kicking her in the stomach. Miranda was never good in combat, Allen knew that but he still let her get hurt. He felt useless.

Allen didn't take a second to hesitate as he grabbed the man by his neck, the hood falling off the man's head but Allen still couldn't recognize him with the mask his wearing underneath. The man struggled to get out from Allen's grasp but it was futile. Allen forced his whole body down the ground in an instant and raised the man's head for a few seconds before slamming it on the floor a single time. A loud sickening sound filled their ears and Allen stood up from the ground sluggishly. That wasn't enough to kill a person but he knew made sure that the man wouldn't be able to wake up for a long time. The other CROW member was busy trying to restrain Miranda from using her innocence; Allen pushed Miranda away from them as he prepared himself to fight once again.

He trained with Tyki a few times since Tyki mostly used his fist when it comes to physical combat. Sure, his ways are brutal combined with his Noah abilities and Allen promised himself that he wouldn't be as brutal as Tyki is. He dodged the attack that was thrown at him; he managed to catch a glimpse of the knife the man was holding.

The man clicked his tongue in annoyance before he attacked Allen once more; his movements were fluid and quick. Allen could barely dodge the attacks now since the man gashed his upper hip. He saw the knife coming close to his face and he didn't hesitate to grab the knife by its blade from the man's hand. Not caring when the knife painfully wounded his palm.

The man leaped away from him but Allen knew tricks from his past. He threw the knife with precision, the metal blade piercing through the man's shoulder. He couldn't resist the dark feeling bubbling inside of him as he kicked the man to the floor and pulled out the knife from the man's shoulder. A loud scream erupted from the man's lips. Allen stepped on the man's wound, his boots digging in deeper as he tossed the knife away. He gave the man one last smile before he lifted his foot and stomped angrily on the man's head.

Miranda sat on the floor with her eyes wide and her body shaking in fear "D-Did you kill them?" she stuttered. Allen shook his head "No." he answered bluntly before he removed the blood soaked gloves from his right hand and throwing it down the floor. He then to proceeded to wipe the blood of his hands on his exorcist uniform "Can you show me where the exit is?" Allen asked Miranda. The woman nodded and pointed at the left hallway Allen smiled "Thank you." He then walked only to be stopped by Miranda calling his name "Be careful, okay?" she smiled sadly at Allen as she stood up from the floor. Allen gave her a small bow before running away since he saw the glow of Miranda's innocence.

The huge exit gate of the order greeted him and Allen knew something was wrong the moment the lights around him dimmed and he saw multiple people standing in front of him. He felt like a fool, his heart was racing out of his chest and his legs immediately sprung into action but a blunt object hit the back of his head the moment he tried to move.

He tried to move but he fell on the floor with a loud thud as different colored dots filled his vision before it completely turned into darkness.

XXX

Lavi bit his lips as he stared at the unconscious body of his old friend. Pia is sitting a few meters away from them; she refused to meet Lavi's eyes as she crossed her arms angrily. She really didn't want to participate in this but getting Allen away from her innocence's range can cause a lot of chaos when Allen gets to transform back to his Noah form. He took a step back when Allen shifted into a sitting position, his eyes snapped open as he tried to move only to stopped by the metal chains that bind his arms up to the air.

"Lavi. Get me out." Allen said sternly he was glaring directly at Lavi with his silver eyes cold as ice not showing a single emotion except for the obvious anger radiating from him. Lavi wanted to help Allen but he didn't have a choice in this situation… this will help Allen. He's sure of it. It might hurt him but it will be for the best.

He glanced back at Hevlaska who was looking distant; Lavi felt his heart ache. Back then it wasn't like this, the order used to be a place where they meet new comrades but now it felt empty. There are no new exorcist coming through the gate, the loud noisy hallways of the orders are now gloomy as no one seem to have the guts to talk to each other anymore and the missions were quick but even more tiring. He hated it.

"Lavi, please… if you don't they're going to come." Allen pleaded her brows knitted in worry as he tried to pull his arms away from the chains that were making him unable to move. Lavi knows what Allen meant… The Noah Family are going to come to take Allen away but they're not going to stop at that. They are going to hurt everyone in The Order; the exorcists, finders and even the scientist. That happened before and he doesn't want it to happen again.

Lavi shook his head "…That's why you're here. We can protect you, Allen." He soothed as he took a step forward to Allen, trying to calm down the white haired boy. Allen's eyes went wide "Protect me from what, Lavi?! They're my family! You can't do anything about that. I'm a Noah already." He growled his expression frantic.

"Then what are we? I thought we were your family, Allen. The Order is your home!" Lavi yelled back at him, his fists curled tightly as he tried to calm himself down from the heavy feeling inside his heart. Allen froze for a few seconds and his face contorted into confusion before a loud laugh erupted from Allen "The Order WAS my home and you WERE my family. You know what they did to me! You humans are selfish, greedy, self absorbed and foolish. You do what you think benefits you. You betrayed me! Everything I've done was thrown away… I didn't ask for anything. I didn't care about the pain. You've done so much to me and I've already thrown my hope for humanity away…" Allen's voice faded into nothing as he choked out a sob. Lavi could almost feel the emotions Allen was radiating; the way his eyes dimmed as the tears slowly slides down his face.

Lavi was about to say something but the loud creak of the metal doors interrupted him and the form of Lvellie entered the room with other hooded figures that Lavi recognized as the CROW. Lavi didn't like them one bit, the central was different than the other branches of the order. They were ruthless and cruel not caring about anything as long as they accomplish the mission given to them. He knew that if they failed a mission they will be killed, after all they aren't as important as exorcists.

Allen's eyes widen "…You wouldn't…." His eyes traced the moving figure of the inspector before glaring at Lavi "What are you going to do?" he growled the tone on his voice got deeper and it is as if he didn't cry a moments ago.

"It is simple, Walker. We're going to exorcise you." Lvellie replied as he walked to Hevlaska who hasn't said anything since they went inside the room. Lavi flinched at the way Allen aggressively tried to pull his arms, the loud sound of the metal chains echoing around them "You know that's not going to work!" he snarled. Allen's whole body shook in anger but he paused when a painful blow landed on his stomach. Lavi immediately went forward and pushed Lvellie away from Allen "Stop! We're not here to hurt him." He heard Allen let out a sputtered laugh behind him "Believe me, Lavi. They will." He watched as the hooded figures dragged Lavi away from Allen making Pia scream in fear. Lavi gave her a reassuring look before he tried to free himself from the CROW's tight grip on his body "This is not part of the plan." Lavi hissed only to receive a taunting smirk from the inspector "Yes, but sometimes it is better to improvise." He turned to Hevlaska "Let's start now."

Hevlaska paused a little for a few seconds before her tendrils slowly moved to Allen's body, before she touched Allen's skin she whispered "I'm sorry…" Allen let out a blood curling skin when the innocence came in contact with his skin. The tendrils were thin but it crawled to Allen's dim innocence, he has gotten used to the murky green light that Crown Clown was emitting but when Hevlaska's innocence touched his; a bright light filled the filled his eyes and then his innocence activated by himself.

Allen used to love his innocence but now the pain that was spreading through his left arm and to his whole body from his cape burned. It burned. His eyes glimmered with tears as he tried to stop himself from screaming. His whole body felt heavy as his legs gave up from the searing pain that overwhelmed his mind and body. White crosses surrounded his body and Allen realized what Tyki felt like when he exorcised him.

He couldn't hear what the others are saying and he couldn't see a single thing except for pure, blinding white. Then the metallic taste hit his mouth as he felt himself cough up blood and the side of his face felt wet from what seems his tears and sweat.

The exorcists are always the ones ruining everything. All the pain, sadness and hate his whole family are feeling came from them. Allen knew that since the day he became a Noah; thousands of year's worth of memories, emotions and hatred mixed with his old memories but he ignored them. He didn't want to hurt them because he was once an exorcist.

The pain never left his whole body and he doesn't even know how long it has been since thoughts flooded his mind. Allen doesn't understand himself… the emotions his experiencing right now are his…right?

He was different from Neah.

He promised to himself that he would be a different Noah.

But why does he feel so much hatred for the exorcists? His lungs burned from too much screaming and breathing felt like such a task. He hated the exorcist so much that the thought of them made him sick and disgusted. In the end, he wasn't different from the other Noah. All he did was lie to himself; hiding behind a mask of guilt because he couldn't believe himself. Because all of this is wrong, wrong, wrong. He doesn't want to hate humans but now he hates them so much. He hates them so much.

"I believe it is time for you to stop, exorcists."

A voice echoes around the room as a heart shaped door appeared floating above them. Two Noah apostles stood above them, floating on midair as if there was a floor to support them. Tyki Mikk and Wisely Kamelot came to rescue to their brother from the hands of the exorcists. Tyki had a lazy grin spread across his face as he looked around the large room to find Allen. His screaming was loud though, piercing their ears as soon as they stepped out of Road's door. But when his eyes met Allen's crumpled body sprawled on the floor, the smile on his face faded "You really have to do that to him…" he mumbled under his breath.

"We'll have to take him home now." Wisely interrupted as his eyes were focused unto Allen, the white hair teen doesn't even acknowledge their presence since he was already in the brink of losing his consciousness.

"Pia! Nullify their Noah." Lvellie hissed angrily at the young exorcist who flinched at his sudden outbursts. She shook her head as panic filled her… she has never been around this much Noah or dark matter before "I-I can't! I'm already nullifying him." She pointed at Allen. The older man cursed "Useless innocence. Nullify one of them then-" he stopped when another figure stepped outside the door.

A level 4 akuma.

The Noah family would go to such extent for their brother.

Tyki smiled, his lips curved dangerously "I think it would be better that you use your innocence to this akuma, am I right, inspector?" he sneered his tone laced with venom.

"Damn it." Lavi swore as he activated his innocence glaring at the two Noah apostles "You… Why a level four?" he asked. Tyki and Wisely almost looked shocked but then they both let out a short laugh "The Millennium Earl is really mad right now. I don't think he wants any of you to live after what you've done to our precious new member." Tyki answered as he snapped his fingers "Akuma. You know what to do." He ordered.

"Of course, master Noah." The level 4 replied and it instantly flew down to attack the exorcists. Pia's innocence activated; nullifying the dark matter that the akuma has shot to them. Allen's whole body convulsed when his Noah abilities resurfaced his innocence contradicting with the dark matter that instantly surrounded his whole body.

Tyki sighed in relief as he immediately wrapped his arms around the boy, carrying him bridal-style. The Noah of destruction sobbed silently and his frail arms wrapped around Tyki's body. He didn't care whether the blood smudged unto his white coat what matters is that Allen is still alive. He still has his Noah "…Tyki?" Allen whispered weakly "T-Tyki... I can't see anything." Tyki shushed him and gently brushed the boy's hair from his face revealing set of stigmata on his forehead "We're here, Allen." He murmured as he watched the exorcists struggle to fight the level 4.

He's quite impressed, though. That girl's innocence is indeed useful against strong opponents like them and high-levelled akuma. Wisely worriedly stared at Allen's state despite him being in his black form, the strange marks on Allen's body does not heal as quick as their regenerative ability normally would.

"Can I check his memories?" he asked Tyki and touched Allen's forehead; the Noah of pleasure nodded in response. He smiles a little bit in response as he read Allen's memories…. It only took him a few seconds to finish before a growl appear on his face "They tried to exorcise him, Tyki." He seethed in rage and Tyki seemed to be dazed in a flash before his face transformed into pure anger.

Tease materialized around them, the golems made with dark matter fluttered dangerously. Ready to follow the orders that will be given to them "I was planning to give a little mercy by not attacking anyone myself but now I have completely lost my patience." He snapped when the doors open and a few numbers of exorcists came rushing in the room. Preparing to fight against the level 4 he then saw the inspector being ushered out of the room.

The high ceilings of the large room exploded when the akuma blasted its dark matter. Allen mumbled something incoherent… Tyki looked down at him "Do you want anything, Allen?" he asked the younger Noah. Allen nodded his golden eyes dim as he let out a blood curling scream "BURN THEM… AKUMA I ORDER YOU TO BURN THEM…" he then broke once again into tears.

Tyki clicked his tongue "You heard what he said, akuma. Make sure you leave no one behind." He gave them a mocking bow as Wisely looked back from Road's door before walking in with the other Noah apostles. The heart shape door slammed closed before disappearing into nothing.

Tyki knew that they would be able to defeat the akuma since that little girl has one of the most annoying type of innocence he has ever encountered. He sighs when they arrived back to the Ark and saw The Earl waiting patiently in front of Road's door, his arms outstretched as he took Allen's unconscious form from Tyki "Oh… my dear fourteenth… what have they done to you…" he wrapped his arms gently around the youngest Noah. Then he looked at Wisely with that same wide smile but something dark lurked behind his eyes.

"Tell me everything, my dear fifth."

 **END**

 **Author's Note:**

 **Hello… I am back again with another chapter. I am really sorry for taking so much time to update… I just have so much to do even during the summer. This chapter really took a lot out of me and I hope you guys will like it. I'm not able to edit this chapter since I'm too lazy… I hope you guys can tolerate some of my mistakes. I promise to update sooner now.**

 **Please review. It is the only thing that keeps me going and I really want to know what you guys think about this story.**

 **Thank you so much!**

 **Next Chapter**

 **-Allen and Road**

 **-A farewell to a very important friend**


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